*While being choked by some invisible force*
Pliskin - "Well, this is somewhat unpleasant"
Andrea - "Looks like I'm haunted… Heck."
"Det neste steget i planen må være Grand Theft Hobo."
ST - "Beating the shit out of homicidal hobos… Priceless."
Håvard - "Står det med evil runes eller engelsk?"
ST - "Evil runes?"
Håvard - "Kinesisk"
Joar - "Man tar ingen sjanser. Man legger a blanket over."
Jareth - "Who are you talking to?"
Andrea - "…The fruit."
Pliskin - "It was drawn on an elephant!"
John - "Oh, and the painting is cursed."
Pliskin - "Cursed? Pah!"
John - "Well, cursed…ish".
ST - "It was an emo tree, so it cut itself."
John - "We need to exorcise it of the primal force of stupidity!"
Pliskin - "We need to hit it with a book of advanced mathematics!"
Paul - "Bleeding is a full-round action"
John - "I'm seriously going to church."
Pliskin - "Heathen!"
Paul - "The Boob-a-pult! POW! Phone to the head!"
Espen - "I'll assume all of this was out of character"
Paul - "No shit Pliskin."
A sign on the door: "Be right back, out chloroforming old men"
The group shows sympathy with John at his loss of an organ:
"All your kidneys are belong to us!
"We're in ur bath, taking ur kidneys!"
"I had a kidney, but i eateded it."
"I has a kidney! No, they be taking mah kidney!"
ST - "Maybe she has a boyfriend with a car"
Paul - "Or a teleport device. She's Norwegian, you know."
Paul - "I'm so drugged, Dan Brown seems like a good author."
"It's the zen mafia!"
"They steal by not stealing."
John - "The next time you decide to help a damsel in distress, remember: A damsel isn't in distress if she's got a grenade launcher; then she's distressing."
Jian-Li - *SMS message* "I didn't explode. Yay! Koz"
"I'm covered in lawyer"
John - "It's all a part of my business."
Josh - "And what IS your business?"
John - "Completely legitimate!"
New firm: Completely legitimate.Inc
Landlady - "She's seldom home. Young people, always so busy"
John - "I'm kinda surprised the cops haven't been here since she was the reason we met with lawyer, and lawyer EXPLODED!"
Pliskin - "You say this in front of her?!?!"
"Nobody expects the Transformer Inquisition!"
"Inquisitors: Transform and roll out!"
"Transformers: Clergy in disguise"
Paul - "The police are working on a long list of everyone who disliked the deceased, and have so far managed to at least rule out the city of New York."
Henrik - "Dublin, though, is still up for questioning"
Paul - "The Lord Mayor said they were 'all too drunk' to have committed the murder, which has been confirmed by Cork and Belfast"
Henrik - "So far, Canada is the prime suspect"
Håvard - "..Jeg skal kaste meg over John etterpå."
Henrik til Joar: "Since when did you get fake breasts?!"
ST - "Dere blir tatt inn til nokon i normale klær. Kriseterapi."
Espen - "Do I get my usual one?"
Håvard - "Posten leverer ikke krater!"
"I assist his power of Christ compulsion!"
*Joar har sneket seg inn i ein mansion der dei planlegger bryllup, usynlig*
ST - "Og så ser noen deg."
Joar - "…flowers?"
Håvard - "…or we could move to Canada!"
Paul - "The interstellar taking of land will be revolutionized once the Japanese perfect their high velocity flag cannon"
ST - "He's a foreigner, apparently"
Paul - "Alien!"
Espen (?) - "Or worse…"
- Div diskusjon om Treebeard og kompiser i kjoler, og holder buketter, med Saruman the White som brud:
Gry - "The bridesmaids march in"
Henrik - "Imperial bridesmaid march?"
Håvard - "Last march of the Bridesmaids"
Gry - "The Norwegian is not amused."
Gry - "Just crashing a wedding"
Henrik - "Crashing or crushing?"
Gry - "Both"
Gry - "I'm sure the San Fransisco bridge would look fabulous in a wedding dress!"
Håvard - "New movie: The Bruja Bride"
John - "I think we're fucked, and once they fuck, everyone's fucked!" (proving the flexibility of a single word)
Paul - "How many successes are required to complete a vasectomy?"
ST - "He can't even walk right now!"
Paul - "And he can't use a wheelchair in the Twilight?!"
By the Power of Lies!
By the Power of Elements!
By the Power of Explosives!
By the Power of Scrap!
By the Power of NORWAY!
"Over-complicated plan to castrate the man"
Paul - "It IS the World of Darkness!"
Håvard - "The Castration Corporation"
Paul - "If it had been D&D, it would have been an Epic Quest to castrate the man. Wouldn't have worked."
ST - "Gjennom døra er et konservatorium"
Gry - "Et konspiratorium?"
"Hator was a Mexican professional wrestler" - John, researching Egyptian mythology on Wikipedia
"Can I use the crucifix as a knife?"
"Brynhilde, Jeg velger DEG! (Gotta catch 'em all)" - ST angående Valkyrier
Andrea - "Wow, stunningly enough, besides the soul-sucking thing, I'm unharmed!"
Josh - "La oss helle alkohol over de brannsårene, det renser"
Pliskin - "Jeg har Molotov Cocktail!"
Paul - "Har vi rullet en Morality check ennå?"
Espen - "Vi har ikke hatt grunn ennå."
Håvard - "Du kastet molotov cocktail på inkarnasjonen av ondskap."
"Must have been something out of the ordinary…"
Paul - "Aliens!"
Henrik - "Ninja"
Espen & Paul synkront: "NINJA ALIENS!!"
Paul - "Whatcha gonna call? Take Cover!"
"We're here investigating……what the f was his name again?"
Paul - "Very well then, I'll start my own Reich, with blackjack, and hookers. In fact, forget the Reich!"
Pliskin - "Vi prøver selvmord først"
Paul - "My Little Pony Ouija board"
"To the mother of little Timmy, your dog has informed us that your son has fallen down a well in terminal 2" - Airport intercom
Andrea - "John, we've stumbled into some pretty scary shitty fuck……fucking scary shit"
"Getting dumped through terrorism!"
Espen - "Mobilkamera, then you can't mysteriously die, unless you're shot…..damn!"
Swiss Army Gun
John - "Når du tenker på hva Hondan gjorde med oss…."
Andrea - "The terrorists didn't DO much though. They showed up with guns and told everyone to stay calm, then went through the luggage"
Josh - "Å, så kjedelig du er!"
John - "Says you who run a scrapyard"
The World of Darkness, where Occam's Razor works in reverse
Conspiracies R Us!
Gry - You have tons of freaky scary stuff!
Henrik - Yeah, but normal freaky scary stuff!
"Homeland Security is after us, after paranormal abilities, thanks to him (gestures). Oh, and one reads minds and can punch minds. What Fun!!" - John
"I miss the Homeland…" - Andrea
"What is it Bassie, has Timmy fallen down the Hellmouth?"
- Bassie, the Buffy/Lassie crossover
John - "I don't know anything about a female"
Mr. Stabby - "Females are curving, and have more flesh on the chest"
ST - "Norwegian blood is acidic!!!!"
Andrea - I can go to the bar and sing the "My boyfriend's taken by the supernatural and I don't know what to do" blues
ST - "The slightly more autistic part of Chinatown"
Pliskin: *contemplates selling out Andrea to a True Fae in return for Vast Knowledge*
Gry: "Danger, Danger Pliskin, Danger!!" (whilst flailing arms)
- Buying Britain? You'll have to ask the Queen.
- Yeah, but it's used.
- Ah, but points out the salesman: It's only been used by an old lady once every sunday
Joar - "You can gain so much, and it only costs you a key and a friendship"
Håvard (?) - "Og da slipper vi å redde boyfrienden hennes!"
Gry - "It wasn't magic. Pliskin happened"
Agent Shermer - "Excuse me, are you an enemy of democracy sir?"
"Jeg kommer ihvertfall ikke tilbake som Cursed Being nå som de har tatt et blanket over meg" - Håvard
"Escape routes are the one thing I never had time to put down here" - Pliskin
"What sort of mad scientist are you?!?" - Andrea
"You're a skeptic, aren't you?" - ?
"I'm a Norwegian. Also, I was kidnapped by fairies once." - Andrea
"You want to splint my leg with a possibly magical item, which we don't know what does exactly" - Anne
"Could I have something more?" - Anne
"Yeah, on the other side of the leg" - Håvard
"DYNAMITE!!!" - Gry
- The Fey in the kitchen!!!!
- Helllloooo! I made you breakfast!!! And it's happy to see you!!!!
One Mentor to rule them all
One Mentor to bind them (with rope)
One Mentor to Chloroform them all
in the land of Chinatown
where the bureaucracy lies
"The Norwegian seems puzzled at the suggestion that she has spontaneously developed teleportation powers" - Gry
"Bah, my tower is the HARDEST!" - Gry
"I have got to stop helping people" - Andrea
Zher Brides of Science!!
Lang diskusjon om Borgerkrigen mellom Sørnorge og Nordnorge
Byen heter Bergen, og byen er i Brann - Paul
"Sykehuset har fått en tigerinfestasjon. - John
"Jeg har hørt om rabiesbikkjer" - Josh
"TIGER!!" - John
Secret Norwegian Tome of Evil
"I feel the mood is being slightly spoiled by your mother" - Henrik
Henrik tilbringer en hel spilling med å høres ut som Ms. Packard
"He's going to write his name on a giant penis, what's not to like?" -Henrik
I need co-location - Joar
Så kan han bli henrettet fem ganger samtidig!
Axing is the opposite of copulation? - ST
"There's a FUCKLOAD of things in my scrapyard and I don't like it!!!" - Josh
"Yeah, but you turned it off" - Andrea
I sacrificed my soul for the good of everyone and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
"Int 2 pluss Pliskin" - Paul
"Int 2 pluss Whiskey?" - ST
Possessions: Bærbar Kjole
"Dæm burda valgt en anna slagmark enn plæna mi" - Pliskin
"I've got morals…..somewhere" - John
"Kan sprenge hele byen"
"Would solve the problem though"
"It'd be one heck of a Morality check!"
"We can bring forth PRIDEZILLA!!" - Gry
"This is because Matter is the least important of the Arcana" - Ahura Mazda
"Must…..not…..make…..Joar-worthy…..pun" - Gry
"What?" - ST
"Doesn't Matter" - Gry
"Ow" - Espen
"Pikachu, I sacrifice YOU" *shoots shotgun* - John
"Fun is not healthy!" -Jiuan
"I would like to petition myself to join the order."-Jiuan
"You are not worthy! BITCHSLAP!" -Håvard
"At least they have doors!" -Pliskin
"I can mutate the monkeys with cancer!" Jiuan
"Ceiling-guardian is watching you break the veil!" - ST
"His aura shows a lot of lust, but he's mostly looking at the woman in from of him, so…" - ST
"He's in his Happy Place all right" - Håvard
"Approach my happy place? Fine! PSYCHIC ASSAULT!" - Paul
"Ceiling-mastigos is watching you LUST!" - ST
"The mind works in mysterious ways" - NPC
"I know. I have Mind 3" - Paul
"I can kill you with my mind" - ST
"Could he have left a ghost?"
"This guy is stupid enough not to find the exit" - John
"Walk towards the light!!" - ST
"This might have been the easiest exorsism in the history of the world" - John
"This hospital is approved by: The Guardians!" *thumbs up* - John
"Hey, han lever på en skraphaug. Kan være greit å brilljere med noe!" - Josh
"I like Fate magic" - John
"Shocking!!" - Pliskin
"…says the forces-mage…" - ST
"This is a box. You've opened it" - ST
"Is there hope inside?" - John
"Errr" - ST
"The hope is also cursed" - John
"….sier Acanthusen…" - ST
Magic coin is magic
*John rolls for telepathically transmitting images*
"Exceptional success!" - John
"I've been raped!" - Josh
Postman Pat the Herald
Nom nom nom
it has flavor
"Is he taking any drugs"
"No, not that we know of" - ST
"He's high on SCIENCE!"
"Only the Mysterium would train a dead mage" - John
"I need to go to the little mystagogues' chamber" - Josh
"How many Sanctum dots are the streets of San Fransisco worth?" - Espen
"Well, you'll get a problem with the Security rating"
"That's nothing. What about when you want to turn them into a Demesne"
Subtle mage is subtle
"They have parties, we have orgies, you have asceticism. That's fun." - John
"Fun isn't healthy!" - Jian-Li
"Do not tempt him! Bad Acanthus! Bad!" - Andrea
The Hunchback of the Jedi Council
He's so retarded that he could become a jedi
"You're a wuss but you're not a psychopath. Welcome to the club." - Gry
"We have standards!" - Paul
The Apprentice, mage-way. You're fired! *fireball*
"I shot a mage in 'frisco, and never questioned why" - Paul
"Corruption doesn't have to be bad!" - John
"I thought you said there weren't any virgins nearby" - Gry
"Hva var det siste der?" - ST
"Virgins" - Gry
"Hva er det?" - ST
"Skal fortelle familien at jeg flytter ut" - Jian Li
"They care?" - John
"Hva?! Du leser manualer, og du er mann?" - Joar
"MYSTERIUM!" - Håvard
He has no sympathy with Norway
"What about your "wand"?"
"I don't want to flash it around in here." - Chimera
Pikachu, I scrutinize you!
"The Guardians can categorically state that they did not release man-eating badgers into the area." -Paul
"We also invoke the Right of 'Don't Be A Dick' " -Andrea
"I could use my *points to head*, but it seems like overkill" - John
Do not fuck with the Abyss
"What is it Pliskin? Are you trapped in an Abyssal house?" - ST
"How are you?" - John
"OK. I had a bath" - Andrea
"Baths help?!" - John
"I'm helping!" - Low-Key
"For all we know, the items could be in different levels of reality" - NPC
"I still vote for Europe"
Pliskin er vår beste fanatiker!
"Jammen jeg har ikke med meg nok joikakaker!" - Skadi
"It's 40 years worth of dead bodies. Yes, we need cleanup!" - Nobel
"It makes no sense! I have to blow it up before it fucks with me!" - Skadi
"Good news, I'm not sleeping with your brother. Bad news, your wife is."
"Next time, one of YOU (points at Nobel & Chimera) pass as the maid!" - Skadi
"You know, dead people get worse when they're dead" - Chimera, spoken as a true Moros.
"It involves two things I don't like; Time travel and houses which compel me not to leave." - Skadi
Spaaace Maaaage - The new theme song for the Space arcanum users out there
"With time travel, on the other hand, you need NO training, as long as you get training later" - Gry
"OH MY GOD! Island! The polar bears have taken over Alcatraz! They lounge about drinking booze and playing around with their telekinetic powers!" - Gry
(Also, they get there by impersonating german tourists asking people for directions to themselves…)
"Subterfudge" - Henrik
"So that's what the cake is made of…" - Gry
"It wasn't technically human honey" - ST
"Yes it was. It had humanoid form: Two arms, two legs, one head, lots of tentacles" - Gry
"Sanity is for the weak" - Gry
Panties of nourishment
"This proves it. Accountants eat baby souls for breakfast." - Nobel
"No, it's more of a lunch thing" - Hermes
"Fat free biscuits. It's the light side." - Skadi
"There's too much of people not telling each other everything! We should be a hivemind" - Hermes
"Ragnarok, nu skal blodet flyta" - Skadi
"Hephaistos. Ah. That explains the camera" - Hermes
"I forgot to water the plants….OF DARKNESS" - Chimera
"We might need new…….paint. Special paint. From Oakland" - Chimera
Mysterium rock as a musical genre
"I scrutinize you. In the face." - Hermes
"Guardians. The washerwomen of the Awakened world" - Hermes
"So you think you can dance? HUBRIS!" - ST
"Also, he has no beard" - ST
"Ny bruk av illusion spell da" - Håvard
"Pling. You've got souls." - Håvard
"Do you have any sympathy to Mr. Saturday's pants? Are they known to you, or are you intimate with them?" - ST
"I am a Guardian too. Let us kill them together"
"When all else fails, do the 5-year old routine" - Skadi
"Who would have thought it was this difficult to find someone we didn't like" - Skadi
"Nobel, the hell?!" - Skadi
"Oh GOD yes, it opens a portal!" - Skadi
"Guardians are supposed to be subtle" - ST
"Explosions are subtle" - Pliskin
"I don't think the insane asylum falls under the 'Barfly' merit" - ST
"Pliskin goes to the Asylum" - Jian
"Finally!" - Andrea
"To the tram, for justice!!"
The Obvious Bike.
"Because we're not followers of the lie…..well, I'm not." - Nobel
"The were-heffalump cometh" - Chimera
"Han er dønn seriøs" - ST
"Do not start off the Pliskin" - Gry
"If you were suffering from erectile dysfunction, I would not pry into it, because it is a private matter"
"Yes, it is!" - Jian Li
"Oooh, you're Satan! We can make a deal." - Skadi
"Hey, wait a minute" - Nobel
"Well, I am a Warlock" - Skadi
"Knowledge is a deadly sin?" - Skadi
"I open the door to productivity" - Nobel (thank you Dr. Phil)
"I. NEED. SYMPATHY." - Skadi
"Discern the Secret Hoard" - Håvard
"PIZZA!" - Espen
"The Mystagogue just had a Mystagasm" - Skadi
"Vi kan inkludere tegninger av Mudraene i rapporten" - Skadi
"Or I could just mind-rape Pliskin" - Hermes
"Why me?" - Pliskin
"Why not?" - Hermes
"If we ever detonate a nuclear bomb, we should do it in the sanctum" - Nobel
"Perhaps not. We live there." - Skadi
"Most inexperienced thieves of Plutonium do it by…" - Nobel
"Naturally, we're picky about where we get our Plutonium" - Skadi
"What a security measure for the sanctum! Irradiate the twilight!" - Chimera
"Herregud som du tiltrekker deg rike kvinnfolk da" - Rui Shi
"Awwwwwww, he's jealous." - Skadi
"He's insatiable. He's Pliskin, god of løøøøøve" - ST
"Ask her what Arcanum" - Espen
"What?!? Why should I ask her for a condom?" - Håvard
"So the Catholics are actually right?" - Gry
"Errrr….apparently, yes" - ST
"Dear lord help us all" - Gry
"We can't be subtle" - Nobel
"She has sunglasses and a white cane" - ST
"Oh" - Gry
"She's also dressed like a hippie" - ST
"Does she know?" - Paul
Laundry of the Damned - Håvard (?)
"Det kan skade ham" - Chimera
"He's dead" - Nobel
"Metalldetektor på gamlehjem?" - ST
"It's America" - Gry & Paul synkront
"Help me!" - Nobel
"Ask me!" - Hermes
"I'm waiting for you!" - Nobel
"The FBI never confiscate irradiated silver on a Sunday" - ST
"We're Intimate. It doesn't mean we're together" - Hermes
"Killing is bad" - Skadi
"Huh?" - University possessing the Necromancer
"Summon the ghost!……DAMN" - Nobel
"As far as we know, the professors are the Bad Guys. According to the university at least." - Nobel
"Ha, 2 xp spent. I develop a Destiny out of spite." - Gry
"I'm just waiting for the dust bunnies to fatten up so we can slaughter them" - Hermes
"In a tibetan, buddhist death-ritual." - ST
"I'm Hermes, and I approve of this plan" - Hermes
"The past is kinda big y'know." - Skadi
(singing:) "Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again/ Teacher gets annoyed…." - ST
"What did you need that silver for did you say?" - Hermes
"Get a grip on your old, dead life!" - Chimera
"I can check with my old contact" - Nobel
"Shawn the policeman?" - ST
"Yes. He might know something" - Nobel
"What? That you're dead?" - Hermes
"Yes" - Nobel
"And that's why we don't do democracy" - The Mysterium
"We were just talking about the zombie gazebo" - Paul
"The blonde zombie gazebo" - ST
"There's more than one?" - Gry
"Transform Aura" - Espen
"Mages in disguise" - Håvard
"Of course, you all assume you need a penis to rape someone. You can improvise" - Gry
"But then you can't get the Rote bonuses" - Paul
"Pimp my tracking device"
"If he was planning to physically kick the Hierarch, I'd actually expect him to get Fate 4 first" - ST
"You get a warm fuzzy feeling from spite?" - ST
"I'm Norwegian" - Gry
"The biscuits. Are totally. Mundane." - Chimera
"Damn! Fuck off, Abyss!" - Skadi
"Anatheum, the Scelesti library" - Håvard
"Which means 'Need more Pig!' " - Skadi
"You manage to cast Finder, so you know exactly where you hair is" - ST
"On. Your. Head." - Paul & Espen synkront
"That's what Investigation is for" - ST
"Finding out if they make tampon commercials or not? Most specific skill ever" - Paul
"Tar med Apple Juice" - Paul
"Ååååh, Rohypnol" - ST
"Oh, we're in the Schemy corner" - Nobel
*Gjemme seg bak busk/laken i fengselscella*
"Now you see me, now you don't" - Paul
"THIS. IS. CHINA!" - Paul
"Han har med seg en potteplante gjennom portalen" - ST
"Why?" - Skadi
"To turn it into bees" - Rui Shi
"Chain him to the wall and poke him with a cattle prod, make him feel at home" - Paul
"Du ser ikke noen som ikke er der" - ST
"They're not spiritual? They're not fishies of god?" - Gry
"Jesusfish" - Paul
"Det er jeg som er Death" - Nobel
"You bring back the pottet plant?" - ST
"It gets XP!"
*long discussion about levelling up the plant*
"Let's just say it involved bad men with catapults" - Gry
Killing Bush by putting a bear in a space-pocket within a pretzel box and using Fate to send it to him.
Atlantean Americans, and their music styles and culture.
"How to improve gasoline as an explosive. It's the Pliskin way" - Espen
"What's this I smell? The foul stench of integrity." - Paul
"As long as you're larger than a small mouse, you should be safe." - ST
"Yaaaaay, ritual sexen kommer!" - Joar
"Cake or Ladder" - Espen
"Everybody together now: I…" - Hermes
"Hate" - Skadi
"The Adamantine" - Nobel
"Arrow!" - Chimera
"Very good" - Hermes
The Dress Code of Atlantis: No shirt, no service!
"Swim away, let the sixteen year old girl face the giant squid alone" - Spice
"Let's hope it's not using blekk magic" - Alex
"Would it count as charity if I make sure there's enough bullets for everyone?" - Gry
"The Power of Time compels you" - Gry
"I was curious. I didn't know the book would open a gate to hell" - Spice
*A lost play of Shakespear has been performed at the Globe theatre, opening a gate to the Atlantean Hell, releasing a gigantic demon, whose heart's essence was liquid fire which spilled out when it was shot, setting fire to the building, before the demon was frozen solid*
"Oh, like this has never happened to the Globe before" - ST
"The owls! Will no one think of the owls?!" - Gry
"This is your alcoholism. This is your alcoholism on drugs" - ST
"I'm haunting these pants goddammit" - Jian Li
"It's a church van, not a pimpmobile" - ST
"I'm a prostitute robot from the future!" - ST
"Out of pure interest…." - Espen
"It would be dead yoghurt" - ST
"It has ceased to be" - Paul
"A private conversion?" - Paul
"He wants to make you a girl. We have the hacksaw ready" - ST
"Isn't that a Legacy?" - Espen
"What will you teach her?"
"How to kill our parents, so I won't have to perform the murder myself" - Jian Li
"I think indoctrinating your little sister into killing her parents is worse than doing the act yourself" - Hermes
"Oh, so you had a duel?" - Chimera
"Yes. An Arcane Duel" - Jian Li
"And you were supposed to win?" - Chimera
"It is preferable" - Jian Li
"I hate the Adamantine Arrow. I'm glad I blew them up" - Nobel
"That's actually a threat" - Espen
"Good point" - Paul
"I'm just waiting for someone to make a joke about it" - Paul
"I tried, but couldn't think of anything funny" - Henrik
"Me too" - Espen
"YES, you make the Sanctum horny. Are you satisfied?" - ST
"I will NOT detonate a nuke in San Fransisco" - Nobel
"I like how you need to specify that it only applies in the city" - Hermes
"Well, technically the scrapheap is outside the city limits" - ST
"Oh, then it's ok then" - Nobel
"We just need to find a female Sanctum somewhere for it to mate with" - Gry
"The mage who made it was very potent" - ST
"He was so potent you feel slightly pregnant already" - Paul
"Quick! Chimera, how many toes do you have?" - Nobel
"I suggest we go to Mars" - Hermes
"I suggest we go to Mars" - Hermes
"I'm just reveling in the fact that I'm in a game where I can suggest we go to Mars and still be completely serious" - Paul
"I say sir, your clothing seems to be exploding" - Skadi
"WE DO NOT NAVIGATE BY PUNS IN THIS CABAL!" - Hermes
"Hitler claimed sanctuary?!?" - Håvard
"Just because I incinerated New York I get a dark grey hat?" - Hermes
"Did you enjoy your apple pie, traitor?" - Skadi
"I can get the Drive Skill Speciality: Astral Plane?" - Håvard
"The First rule of the Old Testament is, you do not talk about the Old Testament" - ST
"I order an astral burger" - Hermes
"I order an astral soda" - Skadi
"It's Astrally delicious" - Hermes
"Reagan. In. SPACE." - Paul
"It's actually been done I think" - Espen
"Is cheese a biological weapon of some kind?" - Nobel
"The Scenarios we had in our heads did not include fairies" - ???
"Fairies in your sanctum? It might be true" - Paul
"Mages' most funny home videos" - Gry
"Well, his wife isn't that into the Vulgar stuff." - ST
"Your wife is so dead" - Håvard
"Great way to get yourself killed, tell him dead wife jokes." - Paul
"Sola får fame bonus?!" - ST
"Nuke Austria from San Fran, it's the only way to be sure" - Paul
"If he had seen this future I think he might have prevented it rather than making cocoa" - ST
"Carving perfected irony" - Paul
"Det er så synd at Joar ikke vil ofre sjela si." - Espen
"Ah, Lemuria" - ST
"Damn Lemurians, coming here, taking our jobs" - Paul
"Wait, I'm going to become Jesus? Damn! Again!" - Espen
"Schroedingers breasts" - Paul
"There may or may not be breasts, but you won't know until you check" - ST
"Do you have anything to declare?" - ST
"I am the God-King of Atlantis!" - Paul
"If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a manifestation of the Abyss" - Paul
"Quack" - Joar
"She's got feelings now?" - Paul
"Damn, that's a powerful dispel" - Espen
"In the club, nobody can hear you speak Atlantean" - Paul
Xavier as a DJ. Telepathic command to the floor: *everybody dance now*
"The souls are not afraid of getting boy or girl cooties" - Skadi
"Are you sure? Have you studied the subject?" - Nobel
"The hairgel Manipu-oil, alchemy for car salesmen" - Espen
"Once in every generation, a Pliskin is born" - Henrik
"Lær er en tryggere fetisj enn skudsikker vest" -Joar
"Liches in your sanctum? It's more likely than you think" - ST & Paul
"Cheers to that mates" - Espen
"Then he took some drugs and turned into NORMAL" - ST
"So you're not yet preparing to become Jesus?" - Paul
"Det tok lenger tid enn forventet, en og en halv time." - Joar
"Hah!" - Joar
"Ja, men Quality over Quantity" - Paul
"Huh?" - ST
"We're comparing our octopi" - Paul
"No name penalty this time though" - ST
"Now the beer bottle Jeff is very offended" - Skadi
"So, you have a corpse. Aren't you lucky" - ST
"Yaaaaaay" - Espen
"Nobody expects the Free Council Inquisition" - Håvard
"Nobody expects the Free Council to be sober long enough to form an inquisition" - Paul
"You don't need to be sober to start an inquisition" - Håvard
"I like researching, researching is GOOD" - Chimera
"Spawn more Norse gods" - Håvard
"I cast detect sarcasm" - Paul
"Å Pokker" - Joar
"Magic is not exactly a car, now is it?" - Paul
"Then we need to figure out exactly how long you can have 40 Eleventh Questioners in town and have Winston's head exploding but not Low Key's " - Paul
"Sherlocks on Parade" - Paul
"You're going to impregnate your father with Life magic? Wisdom check!" - ST
"Hard? Hard is carrying your coffin, knowing it was empty!" - Jennifer
"At least it wasn't very heavy" - Hermes
"Right, Saturday is research day" - Nobel
"What should we research?" - Skadi
"Stuff?" - Nobel
"Guardians of the Whale!" - Henrik & Paul
"Whoa! I just realized, I can see!" - Espen
"That was some change" - Paul
"He met Midas and got breasts?" - ST
"Stranger things have happened" - Paul
"Trønderthulhu" - Paul
"Vart du skræmt no? Ska eta opp sjela di ja" - ST
"She's got Wrath as a Virtue?!" - Paul
"Yes. And as a Vice" - ST
"Adamantine Arrow, where that would actually be possible" - Paul
"Eat them all!" - Cthulhu
"I'm not listening to that voice. Do you have any idea how many calories they contain?" - Skadi
"It was the first of the Magesploitation films" - Paul
"I don't think you realize how corrupt we're talking of here. Let me get my thaumium monocle." - Håvard
"There's good corruption and bad corruption" - Paul
"It's a magnificent Organ" - Cthulhu
"Like my kidney" - Chimera
"Get in mah pattern!" - Paul
"The bad guys had everything including Gay on their side" - Gry
"It makes for some interesting Jurrasic Park porn" - Gry
"Then he scried her corpse" - ST
"Moros" - Paul
"PIZZA!!" - Håvard
"I will remain silent, for I know things will go to hell very soon" - Paul
"Aaah!" - Gry, pointing
*Cola som fosser over*
"What did you hear?" - Gry
"Virgins migrating" - Joar
"If it's a mermaid I'll puke" - Paul
"What, a mermage?" - Håvard
"When life mages go bad" - Gry
Mage Soccer. An hour of Mage Soccer.
The fall of Atlantis as a 300 spoof
"This is an Exarch empire" - Gry
"THIS. IS. ATLANTIS!" *kicks exarch envoy off the celestial ladder* - Henrik
"Our Ladder will block out the Supernal" - Henrik
"Then we will cast beneath the Abyss" - Paul
"Tonight we dine in the Abyss!!" - Paul
"Vel, no når det kun er oss her…" - Chimera til Hermes, during Hermes' "changed" period
"Ecstacy does not work that way!" - ST
"It's turned into "National jump into Chimera's Mind month" - Hermes
"That's because he's easy to enter." - Joar
"Then I should take the "Easy Ride" merit, like you!" - Håvard
"I don't have to touch it!" - Nobel
"No, I don't want to sleep with Santa Claus" - Skadi
"Eg vurderer å ta det som speciality" - Espen
"Kicked in the face?"-Håvard
"You, me, some mindfucking…" - Paul (As Apollo)
"When your moros covers his face, mumbles and dies, that avenue of research might not be worth pursuing further." - Hermes
"Remember, kids; unprotected sex leads to abyssal intrusions. Always wear a condom." - Hermes
(after a shootout)
"Har du mensen?" - Kva Gry hørte
"No, I'm calling. He's got a nosebleed and he's dead." - Skadi
"Thank you, Skadi." - Hermes
"What?! What did I do now?!" -Skadi
"…" - Hermes
"Oh, not sarcasm. Sorry. You're welcome." - Skadi
"Using the Obvious Bike as a scrutinizing tool might not be very useful I suspect" - Hermes
"The Adamantine Arrow icebreaker: *Bang!* (mimes shooting someone). HAH! Got yah!" - Nobel
"Ah, Striking Looks. An Adamantine Arrow Fighting Style" - Chimera
"Hmmm, a robot complaining that he's covered in bees" - Håvard
"Well, there is a Prestige Class…" - Paul
"He's on a one-man jihad" - Hermes
"Tecnically, jihad is a very bad choice of words, what with him being the devout zealous christian Knight and all. Since, y'know, the Knights were the people fighting against the Jihads and everything. A better word would have been 'crusade' " - ST
"Well then, he's on a one-man crusade" - Skadi
"WE NEED MUSLIMS!" - Chimera
"Nobel smashes more Tass with a hammer" - Espen
"Try not to harm the hammer, those things are expensive" - Paul
"As John would have said: Getting fucked is better than getting shot" - Rui Shi
"I wasn't straight last week" - Paul
"Welcome to Mage" - Espen
"Du ser for deg at du blir Seduca av Yngve Håkonsen?!?" - ST
"That's what I call Karma! Put a squid on my head, you fall down" - Paul
"I had some time after the Concilium meeting, so I disproved Classical and Quantum Physics" - Nobel
"We can ask Red where he gets his Whores" - Håvard
"HORSE?!" - Rest of Group
"The 11th Toe" - Chimera
"The suckier and less known brother of the 11th Questions" - Hermes
"I didn't do anything magical" - Nobel
"It wasn't magic. Pliskin happened" - Skadi
"Our Sanctum is full of eels" - Hermes
"That's how WE do it!" - Nobel
"New physics in your sanctum? It's more likely than you think" - Paul
"We need some Fate and luck because I need to reinvent physics" - Nobel
"On the upside, when you all die the new spin-off series will be about Hermes" - Paul
"And Goat & Rui Shi" - Håvard
"They fight crime" - Paul
"Or they Fight Science" - Espen
"For once he's making sense that's not destroying the universe" - Skadi
"And metal cabbages growing out of her head" - Hermes
"She says some less nice things in High Chipmunk" - Gry
"High Chipmunk? Is that like High Atlantean, but for the Chipmunk civilization?" - ST
"He apparently had an epiphany when he read this and temporarily killed himself" - Skadi
"Bloody alien reality, coming here, taking our physical laws" - Skadi & Hermes
"The martian technology got into our microwave I guess" - Skadi
"Why the Guardians actually tolerate the Free Council: PORN!" - Hermes
"So the Mystagogues think research is bad and the knowledge needs to be burned, the Libertine makes sure nobody casts Vulgar spells, the Guardians are studying physics and proving that it's right, while the Arrow is out shamelessly partying. And everyone's cooperating though the Ladder isn't even involved. We ARE in an alien universe"
"Best excuse for buying the Death Arcanum ever. 'Well, I keep dying'. " - Skadi
"The overly familiar familiar" - Håvard
"Hot mage on familiar action" - ST
"So snuff movies would be about the Abyss?" - Paul
"I'm in ur Athenaeum, eatin' ur grimoires" - Hermes
"The second coming of Xena?" - ST
"They're not on the map because they're not members of the Concilium" - Hermes
"Will no one think of the Liches!?!" - Skadi
"Fetuses have a high Challenge Rating" - Marianne
Mage pick-up line: "Wanna come home and see my Tass pool?" - Hermes
"She's off to watch some Hitlerporn" - ST
"Scientism" - Paul
"Missionary complete" - Chimera
"Yes, blame the Guardian" - Hermes
"Isn't that your job? Getting blamed?" - ST
"Thyrsuses gone Wild"
"Look at Aphrodite and her Atlantean Rod of Might"
"Detect Virginity" - Håvard
"Weirdest Rote ever" - Paul
"Mind 1 + Spirit 1 spell." - ST
"Sex and Porn" - ST
"The Guardians" - Nobel
"A sense of humour" - Paul
"I want!" - Joar
"The last march of the Sherlocks" - ST
"Each of them with their own Watson trailing behind as they come out of Fangorn Forest" - Paul
"And they head off, with their pipes and magnifying glasses, towards Isengard where Moriarty stands on the balcony" - ST
"With the Reichenbach waterfall ready in the background" - Paul
In Ent voice: "Release the River!" - ST
"Wonder of Wonders, you penetrate the primordial chaos and move into something beyond" - ST
"I'm sorry, the Hindus were right"
"This mentor will self-destruct in 10 minutes"
"The Adamantine Arrow made a good pitch. For the Guardians." - John
"Snakes count as mundane equipment" - Hermes
Mysterium pirates: But why's the books gone?!
"He's soon at the point where cold-blooded mother is 'eh, ok' " - Paul
"Man-eating badgers?" - Hermes
"Nah" - Nobel
"Not for now" - Hermes
"Will nobody think of the Veil?!?!" - Espen
"Pay no attention to the man behind the Veil" - Hermes
"He moves into Goat" - Espen
"Just because I probably won't get to do it again, I scrutinize God" - Hermes
"So, how is he doing by the way?" - Gry
To the tune of 'all you need is love': "All you need is Mind 4" - Paul
"Bah, you're just an Initiate. You need to be an Apprentice of Fate to know why to bake cupcakes" - Hermes
"Where's the Crook that Took my Book" - ST
"If Skadi ever has a Sleepwalker baby, she'll read that book to it" - Gry
"WE CAN MAKE IT!" - Espen
"When you're first going senile you might as well enjoy it" - Hermes
"He reached Golconda" - Espen
"At age 12?!?!" - ST
"He's like Vampire Mozart" - Paul
"So we've got time travelling psychics" - Hermes
"At least they like us" - Skadi
"They fight crime" - Hermes
"Before you begin, I have two things to keep in mind" - Paul
"Good point" *begins writing* - Espen
"An Acanthus Archmage in Atlantis looked around and said 'this place is dull' " - Paul, theorizing on the reason behind the current chaos.
Oracles and other childish things - ST
Forge Master initiation: STOP! Hammertime! -Paul, methinks
"Those evil goats floating around your apartment…"
"The Supernal goes Clank" - ST
"He's the Horses Mage" - Gry
"A Horses Missile" - Håvard
"Horses Arcanum, very underestimated except when travelling" - Paul
Possum the Moros, his favorite trick is playing dead
The leash that turns the dog dead temporarily, to claim money from the people who 'ran him over'
"No porn. Poor Guardians" - Skadi
"Until the internet is back we'll just have to protect the Veil then." - Hermes
*Ghostly woman is trying to absorb Chimera's body heat through hugs*
"But Chimera, she was probably rich when she was alive" - Skadi
"The walls look almost kinda sweaty" - ST
"Oh, that reminds me…." - Chimera
"I want you as my foetus" *Chomps* - ST
"Hot Sphinx on sphinx action" - Chimera, on seeing the sphinx in training meet the Pythagorean Sphinx
"You are the tastiest morsel. Goodbye." - Skadi
Yogathulhu - Paul
Yog-Thulhu - Håvard
"THE VEIL!!!" - Hermes
"I don't want to be yoinked by a tall dark man who just put a leash on me!" - Chimera
"So it's a well-behaved child" - ST
"It's ABYSSAL!" - Nobel
"At least they're not orphans" - ST
"…yet…" - Hermes
"Fate says go down" - Hermes
"If only we had a handbasket" - Skadi
"Oh, wait a minute…" - Nobel
"This" - Chimera points at collar
"Oh, that doesn't stop you from casting spells" - Tamas
"I just find it attractive" - Paul as Tamas
"It could be that he's coming here" - Hermes
"Kubla Khan?!?" - Skadi
"Timepears, the freshmaker" - Paul
"The kids you'll question for half an hour, but not the Victorian time-travelling psychics?" - Hermes
"Well, I assume we'll be here again. And again." - Skadi
"And again" - Nobel
"And again" - Skadi
If all your friends started shooting zombie brides, would you?" - Hermes
"Mages: intimidating doors for fun and profit" - Hermes
"Atlantean History X" - Paul
"Guanxi can be used for so many things" - Chimera
"Would explain why Ahura Mazda is so angry at Apollo" - Skadi
"I have built up enough Guanxi with you. Now strip down"
"That's his plan! Build enough Guanxi with everyone in the Mysterium to see them naked once, then construct elaborate porn memories and sell them to the Guardians" - Skadi
"Explains how he got his wife. 'I've built up enough Guanxi with you, now marry me" - Paul & ST
"Oooooooh" - Chimera
"Torpedoing penguins since 1692" - Paul
"I am the scrutinator!" - Nobel
Wall-mart for mages: Wall-mage. Where they have aisles of wands, medallions, chalices, everything. And in the groceries section you have edible tass. And there's hammers, too, costing 2 bricks each, since they're so expensive.
"We need Optimus Prime to balance out his bastardness" - Skadi, about Ahura Mazda
"Abyssal pants. Hmmm…." - Hermes
"Get used to it" - Nobel
"Can't spells have childhoods too?" - Hermes
"Spells are people too" - Skadi
"Ok, this place confuses magic" - Hermes
"Use logic" - Chimera
"Logic?! Are you insane?!?" - Hermes
"An inopportune crumpet" - Skadi
"Do we know the Atlantean rune for 'fuck' ?" - Hermes
"Well, you know the rune for 'Thyrsus'…" - ST
"It's come to our attention, it's hard not to notice actually, that you people have been up to some hygiene lately" - G.I. Joe the sentinel
"It's a very wise use of a boat" - Chimera
"You sit there shouting 'We need to think rationally! This isn't happening!', while wearing an Octopus on your head!?" - ST
"My god, I hope it's not another one of those Martian attacks!" - Skadi
*satisfied* "Aaaahh, crime" - Nobel
"Så hvis du blir seduca av The Ravens får du -4 til å stå imot?!" - ST
"Yes, but I think they get -5 on the attempt, because they're fucking ravens who want to eat my eyeballs. Also, I assume they have no good pickup lines" - Paul
"Stop raping the octopus!!!" - Espen
"Whoa, råkult!" - Håvard
"Bloody Prometheans, coming here, throwing our trailers" - Paul & ST
"Oh god, we're turning into hobbits. We have constant meals, live in a hole in the ground, are fairly rich…" - Paul
"And he's got a magic ring" - ST, pointing at Håvard
"Huh?" - Håvard
"The Collar. It's just a very big ring for a small hobbit" - ST
"Need more bling" - Paul
Nobel, the Mage Pimp
Uhamusen: Raven spirit. På trøndersk: Ja, sjå han Uhamusen borti høgge der ja.
Mage på Norsk
Silver Ladder: Sølvstegan
Guardians of the Veil: Slørvokteran
The Mysterium: Mysteriumet
Free Council: Frirådet
Adamantine Arrow: Adamantpila
Seers of the Throne: Tronglaneran
"I thought you said 'When people become petulant we set them on fire' " - ST
"Oh, that should be in our Cabal Charter now" - Paul
"When people become petulant the Scrounger shall set them on fire?" - ST
"No, Is allowed to set them on fire" - Paul
"SHALL! What kind of wishy-washy namby pamby cabal are you playing at?!" - ST
"So basically, I'm looking at the future of the table, and you're reading about chairs?"-Hermes
"Quick, do something with a sofa! Wait, that sounds dirty…"-Henrik til Gry
"At least we (Norwegians) didn't kill the dodo" - ST
"We were beaten to it" - Gry
"There are only so many hours in the day" - Paul
"Vampires! Werewolves! Pidgeons!" - Joar
"Pidgeons are a Major Template?" - Paul
"A scrying window is not a portal, it's a series of tubes" - Paul
"What, spying on Hobos isn't Virtuous?" - Hermes
"I want to put 1 dot into Library: Bling" - Hermes
*Ctulhu suddenly eats an octopus*
*points* "That's my dreams" - Paul
"This one time, in the Supernal…." - Paul
"Materialize and roll out" - Hermes
"Hunters came and dug a pit trap and filled it with snakes. Just for you." - ST
"Det var DET jeg skulle huske å gjøre" - Joar
The Sleeper Life, a mage SitCom about the cabal which shares an apartment with a Sleeper, and the wacky highjinks that ensue as their get into quirky situations trying to keep the Mysteries hidden from him. Especially since the gruff local Guardian sometimes sticks his nose in, making sure they're not breaking the Veil, usually at the most unfortunate time. Now showing on TVG.
"The Bible is telling me to not worry and shoot myself" - Gry(?)
"That's a bad bible" - ???
"I said 'the rest of us', I didn't include any of you" - Chimera
"Another one rides the bus, and the bus here is me" - Joar
" 'Sex on ice' as a skill speciality. Athletics or Expression?" - Joar
"There's a line between an aphrodisiac and a rape drug" - ST
"And Mame Zenori is dancing on that line" - Paul
"His Aura is also on fire" - Paul
"Green i can take, but white? NO!" - Rui Shi
"Your Watchtower of fail has just arrived" - Hermes
"Where did you take Skadi?" - Rui Shi
"Where she needed to go" - ST
*jokingly* "Hell" - ST
"Yes! YES! YES!" - Skadi
*singing* "We're all living in a Nazi submarine…" - Paul
"I just realized, I forgot the Concilium at home" - ST
Skadi the Barbarian
Skadi, Warrior Princess
Techno song: "Protection spells, protection spells, " etc - ST og Paul
"Guns don't kill people, Lord Asp kills people" - Joar
"The Spite is strong with this one" - Skadi
Lamest excuse for looting ever:
"It's my grandfather's altar (of solid gold), I always carry it into battle" - Chimera
"Post-combat coitus" - Hermes
"Ok, I can sacrifice 30 minutes" - Skadi
"Skadi burned a man?!?" - Espen
"No, Skadi was burned by a man" - ST
"Phew" - Espen
"He's eating egg and bacon, having toast and reading the newspaper." - ST
"WEIRD!" - Paul
"I help Rui Shi if he needs it" - Skadi
"He probably needs it, what with all the shagging" - Hermes
"FUCKING!" - Espen
"Piece of shit" - Espen
"Or Yoga classes" - Nobel
"Yoga, in a catholic church?" - Hermes
"What, they're evil" - Nobel
"Atlantis sank. Nobody cares" - Paul
"Free Council motivational poster" - ST
"Snaketea!" - Gry
*CLAAAANGGGG* - Cell phone
"Also 1 willpower because it's Fucking Seers of the Throne" - Skadi
"That kid's got to have issues: 'oh you know, Who's my daddy' " - Gry
"He's down, he's unconscious, he's evaporating" - ST
"Evaporating?" - Paul & Espen
"CLONES!" - Joar
"Take a real gun" - Nobel
"He killed an Exarch in six seconds with the old one" - ST
Rich Bitch Witch Lich
"Catholics need zombies too" - ST
"Not Cryptid, Irish" - Hermes
"That's where the SEERS live" - ST
"Bomb it with fire. And bombs" - Nobel
"Looking for blood in all the wrong places" - ST & Paul
"Two tons of what?" - Gry
"Lead. What did you think?" - ST
"Two tons of Thyrsus" - Gry
"Sacrificing yourself does not make you Jesus" – Paul
"I'm just trying to imagine what someone with the one-armed flaw, one-eyed flaw and one-legged flaw would look like" - Gry
"But is it a balanced concept?" - Paul
"No, he'd fall over" – ST
"Angels do it on earth" – Joar
"Warning label: Keep away from small children and acanthi" - Paul
"I suddenly imagined the Hieromagus as Keanu Reeves" - ST
"Actually, do did I" - Paul
"Oh god I'm so glad I'm not alone" - Espen
"So many Moroi" - Paul
"In a Graveyard" - Paul
"On fire" - ST
"You're going to feed Lassie to a giant snake?!" - ST
"What next, you gonna go out and shoot Bambi's mother?" - Gry
"I heard 'hump Bambi's mother" - Paul
"Nobody casts spells like Chimera" - ST
"Yeah, but she's a Thyrsus for Jesus" - Gry
Snippets of songs and quotes, in rapid procession:
"In the Eye of the Storm we are buying up Gnosis (ooh ah ooh)" - ST
"Did you do this?" "Are you dumb? Are you retarded? We're the goddamn Eye of the Storm!" - Paul
"And I'm learning Forces five, says Pliskin von Braun" - Håvard
*round of applause for the winner*
"The case is filled with poisons and toxins of various kinds. You recognize only some of them, like arsenic, lycergic acid, paralyzing drugs" - ST
"Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize"- Håvard
We experience so much that people get more XP just by hanging out with us. We should have a graph showing the connection between the increase in people's Gnosis rating and their physical proximity to us. It's increase intensely the closer they get, then enter a radical drop near the zero mark, indicating the Rui Shi Valley, then go back up again.
She's like Grissom, except Blind
And a woman.
And a hippie.
The stick is totally mundane - ST
"One cannot have everything in life" - Polydegmon
"But in DEATH…" - Chimera
"So you drag the naked Acanthus out of bed?" - ST
"Best description of a Mentor ever: 'He's fun when he's sane' " - Hermes
"So to disarm the bomb, I open it up, and….PIZZA" - Nobel
After re-enacting the movie Speed in the astral plane: "Another one rides the bus" - Paul
"Nuke the Abyss from the Astral, it's the only way to be sure" - Hermes
"We're going to nuke the Nemesis Continuum?" - Hermes
"Well, it's your psyche" - Skadi
The brides of Science
"The beatings will continue until your dating improves" - ST
"The created, they're made of people!" - ST
"Prometheans, the Soylent Green of the World of Darkness" - Gry
"A Mastigos. Using Space magic. In Hell. Why is nobody surprised?" - Hermes
"It's not like it hasn't happened before" - Skadi
"The Atlantean Roundhouse Kick" - Paul
"You wear glasses?" - Nobel
"Apparently only when breaking the Veil" - Skadi
"We are the lifestream. You will be assimilated" - Paul
"Shake your moneymaker" - ST
"But why would I want to shake Pliskin?" - Gry
"How do you turn cleaning up a demolished apartment into sexual innuendo?" - ST
Hypnochurchill - Paul
"The Abyss is coming onto me now?" - Nobel
"No, the Abyss is impressed with your resumé" - Skadi
"Hva gjør folk til bursdagen?" - ST
"MANACAKE!!" - Pliskin
"I don't think you know how much mana we're talking about, let me get the Tasscake" - Skadi
"Hva er hans forhold til Magic? It's everywhere!" - Espen
"BABIES!" - Joar (No, it made even less sense in context)
"Ceiling Guardian is watching you Date!" - Paul
"What? Are you dumb? Are you retarded? I'm the goddamn Ananke!" - ST
"One free Polydegmon with every dead Seer" - Paul
"There's this gigantic spider, but it's got a tiny little human skull on top of its head help in place with lots of string, as if it's a pathetic attempt at a disguise or something, it's hilarious" - ST
"It's an Exoskeleton" - Håvard
"Don't shag anything in my head" - Hermes
"I've already killed Pliskin once, why not kill him again?" - Rui Shi
"We do not raise Pliskin as a Zombie!" - Hermes
"Being a Moros means never having to ask for a date" - Hermes (re:zombies)
"It's not pine trees, it's PAIN TREES" - Joar
"Awww, I'm no longer a pretty, pretty Acanthus" - Hermes
"He spouts physics at them" - Håvard
"The funk so brother" - Paul
"He did cure your Dire Foetus" - ST
"And we know that regular foetuses already have a high Challenge Rating" - Gry
"Hot Mastigos on Fae action" - Paul
"Armadillos! Transform and roll out!" - Håvard
"You would never need condoms, you have an armadillo" - ST
"Well, you could try to zombie yourself inside, then lobotomize yourself out again" - Henrik
"True Fae don't kill people, chairs kill people" - Paul
"A flintglock?!?" - Espen
"What? He's got a life." - ST
"For now….." - Paul
"Let's file this under 'assume the worst' " - Hermes
"FEY!!!" - Skadi
"Monsters wear Converse shoes? This makes sense" - Paul
"We can get Polydegmon in here to kick ass and take names" - Hermes
"Onions aren't crazy-paranoid enough to be Mages" - Paul
"Oh? Have you ever tried Rousing the Spirit of one?" - ST
"Mage, the only game where you can teach a fairy to use a cell phone" - Espen
"Oakland doesn't count for morality degeneration anyway" - Paul
"Hello, I'd like to block my visa. It was stolen by goblins" - Hermes
"House Elves, please" - ST
"She LEARNS!" - Nobel
"Next time we'll be covered in Claymores!" - Chimera
"Claymore Armor!" - Hermes
"The Supernal talks to you through Tim Curry" - ST
"Goat IS the Greve of Stolen Lovers" - ST
"Fate sight goes 'what?' " - Paul
Hal Uzum: "Are you dense? Are you retarded? I'm the goddamn Hermes!" - ST
"We're talking Resources 3 beer" - Hermes
"You want to disintegrate Lassie?!?!" - Skadi
Singing: "This is Seer-town, this is Seer-town, cameras film in the dead of night" - ST
"When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…" - ST
"They build COMPUTERS!" - Espen
"En person kommer som ingen har sett før" - ST
"Har vi sett henne før?" - Håvard
"Tass" - Paul
"Aaaah" - Espen
"Power of the Universe" - ST
Enigma VS Eye of the Storm:
"We'll have a Crazy-off!" - Paul
Moros dating: Like the ghost-movie where they shape clay together in an intimate moment, but with Ectoplasm instead.
"Ex-president Richard Nixon broke into your sanctum, Sir." - Paul
"I've developed the second Attainment. I've reached the next stage of evolution" - Salmakis
"A penis" - Hermes
"Richard Nixon convinces scorpions to drink beer on duty" - ST
"Show him Prime!" - Chimera
"Are you fucking mad?!" - Nobel
"No, but you are" - Chimera
*Chimera meets his clone, which ends up shooting him with an enchanted shotgun*
"Det er tydeligvis vondt å finne deg selv" - Gry
"He's doing mudras, she's chanting, you're pimp-slapping the darkness God" - ST
"I can see clearly now the death is gone" - Chimera
"A werecarebear" - Skadi
"FUCK YOU, I'm a SHADOWY BLOB!" - Chimera
wokka wokka wokka wokka
"Who'd miss them?" - Paul
"Sauron" - ST
"Which in this case would be his mother" - ST
"That's actually what you have: A scrapheap with a Grue" - Paul
"Roll seduction" - Espen
"What's wrong with the company?" - ST
"YOU MOTHER!" -Paul
"And that's actually a true and relevant answer to that question" - Paul
Acanthus/Guardian or Free Council legacy
Forces primary, Prime optional
Attainment 1: Invisible object. They really ARE holding a gun or a rope, you just can't see it.
Optional: Magic shield. No supernal energy wants to touch a mime.
Attainment 2: Sound Mastery. They can shoot their invisible gun without making a sound. Or do anything else, really.
Optional: Ley shift. The spell, after all, requires you to move an invisible line physically.
Attainment 3: Telekinesis. They pull the invisible rope, and objects really do move. The make-believe props have real-world effects.
Optional: Create a phantasm wall, which is invisible as per first attainment. Now OTHER people can be trapped in the invisible box too, or be stopped by a wall they cannot see.
"So dinosaurs should rule the Americas, according to Jesus?" - ST
"Unraveling would hit you like a weaponized muffin" - Paul
"So, how did you defeat the Doomsday Clock?" - NPC
"We threw muffins at them" - ST as cabal
"Adamantine Arrow, ta deg en bolle!" - Chimera
"He's our mortal enemy, he gets last pick of the muffins" - Paul
"It would be an interesting conversation with the scorpions though:
Braaaaaaaains" - Gry
"Muffins!" - Chimera
Elmer Fudd as a Thread Cutter - ST
"Hermes wants to stop conning people out of their money, but he doesn't know what else to turn to" - Paul
"Politics! Then he can con populations out of their money! - ST
"She would dance on his bones" - Paul
"He has bones?" - ST
"It can be arranged" - Gry
"The Hieromagus is Superman from Atlantis" - Paul
"I had your soulstone, but i eateded it" - ST
"We need 11 jiggawatts of Mana" - Paul
"Trygve, du må vakne, blodsugarane kjem" - Gry
"It ensures that you remain nonviolent, and…." - Sheenbright
"Spike the fucker's drink!" - Hermes
"Thou suckest" - ST
"At least you're not discovered while you suck" - Gry
"We have done without doing we hope" - Paul
"Several orphans died to bring you this message" - Gry
I have a pre-paid legacy. Der dere har abonnemang har jeg kontantkort-Legacy - Paul
Yoink, this is it - Paul
I think this campaign has has enough Yoink - ST
There is never enough Yoinking! - Paul
Hmmm…so a cabal dedicated to eliminating Country Music - Paul
Mmmmmmhhh, Thread Cutters - Håvard
Join the Dark Side, get Composure - Paul
So…you're a…..witch? - Jareth
I don't like being called 'witch' - Andrea
Oh, so that's not politically correct enough? - Jareth
Only if I can call you man-witch - Andrea
That's a 'Warlock' - Jareth
No, that's what I am - Andrea
There's an Acanthus in my cabal - Andrea
You're in a cult? - Jareth
Not a cult, a cabal - Andrea
I know what the word means. Is this in any way like the freemasons or the illuminati? - Jareth
It's much smaller - Andrea
I just thought I should give you a heads up on something – Skadi
Should I get the AK? – Nobel
The Whiteboard of Awakening – ST
Baby-crushing ink? - ST
Most nonsensically consumer-unfriendly product ever – Paul
Does every spell have 'mage' in its name? Mage Sight, Mage Shield, Mage Grab, Mage Lift.- Jareth
MAGE SMASH! - Paul
You know, we ARE up to date. We don't have to live in caves and stuff – Andrea
So, modern wizards? - Jareth
It's amazing what you can do with a toilet seat – Håvard
Transcending the Arcana. Must be wednesday – Paul
Jareth is standing in the kitchen looking kinda afraid - ST
Well, Skadi is in there with him - Gry
That explains it – ST
He learns – Espen
You get magical powers from HELL, and you keep on doing it? - Jareth
It's not technically hell – Nobel
Hell-ish – Chimera
Isn't that something the Guardians could erease - Håvard
The Guardians might be slightly busy with the abyssal intrusion around the corner – Paul
Lesbian Sauron – ST
You can't go wrong with baby-crushing ink – Håvard
Our new company: «Solutions». It's a subsidiary of 'Completely Legitimate incorporated'.
I cast the spell 'Two forms'. - Gry
This is the corpse AND the murder weapon. Eat THAT Agatha Christie – Paul
So I have the murder weapon in my pocket, literally - Gry
Is that a murder weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? - Paul
It's a corridor, with a water cooler, a potted plant and people walking past. - ST
POTTED PLANT! I knew you'd betray us! - Paul
Why do people assume that just because it's a big corporation it's evil? - ST
(points to Chimera) His mother!- Paul
What has she ever done that is evil? - ST
Gave birth to a Moros - Gry
Interesting tagline. «Fate: More What-the-fuckery» - Paul & ST
Soon we'll have a superconductive corpse – Paul
Studying a freezing corpse, not cool? - Håvard
We have an interesting corpse here, and we didn't cause it's death - Gry
You're making progress – Paul (as Polydegmon)
Building Guanxi by giving people corpses. Only in the Eye of the Storm. - Paul
Our sanctum was so hidden that even the guardian was surprised. Of course, that might have been due to the Chthonian in the basement…. - Paul
Guns ablazing er problematisk i og med at en del av huset er et barnehjem - ST
Sadly, not blind orphans - Gry
…yet… - Paul
I'M FROM THE FUTURE! EVERYONE STOP! - Hermes
Cahanyx & Cthonian slash story - ST
It's your mother - ST
Ah - Espen
It has begun - Joar
So we've got time-AIDS - Paul
Time-herpes passer bedre - Joar
Nobel og Hermes drakk seg shitings and experimented - ST
With soul stones - Paul
That too - ST
Du får opp en del - ST
Bwahahahahahaha - Stemme utenfra
Demesne, you say - Paul
HAH! - Stemme utenfra
He died for us, in the future! - Hermes
Make a soul stone, we need to set fire to our cabal-mate – Paul
THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE. MOURN THEM. - ST as Moros obituary writer
I want to figure out what those extra bits on my soul are. Are they dangerous? - Espen
It could be a weird sort of fungal growth. Eller nei, a tumor. You have soul-cancer - ST
It's even more difficult to cure than normal cancer - Espen
Of course, we can do a soul-ectomy – Paul
Anna Neverbornbane – Paul
Nei, fullt navn: Raggedy Anne Neverbornbane - Gry
Se for deg å introdusere henne til en Geist: "She's Raggedy Anne the Neverbornbane. But take it easy, she hasn't done it all that often" - Paul
I do know that most likely….Tesla….pokla… – Gry
Tesla Polka! - Paul
Are you commenting on Nobel's weight, or the size of his backside – ST
No, I'm commenting on his soul's backside. – Paul
Imagine the earthquake-spirit starting to grumble in the morning and lashing out, *smash*, with one arm, smashing Oakland - Paul
Oakland is a snooze button? - ST
It's got sentimental value – espen
Yes. To the NEVERBORN - Paul
Also it had my soul in it - Espen
(in hurt voice) But apparently that's not important enough to you - ST
It's just fat in your eyes – Gry
Mages must be very strange. «I can't see through this rock. What is it made of?» - Espen
You have an innate ability to find the instruction manual of Atlantis – ST
If we can trace this back to the place it came from – Espen
Then we can set fire to the people who live there - Paul
I con people, not ancient Atlantean temples - Hermes
There's a difference? – Skadi
…so far – Hermes
Remember: The temples were built by Atlantean people – Nobel
Then show me the Atlantean people and I'll con them – Hermes
The sins are alive - Paul
The sins are with the sound of music?!? - Espen
(inferno plot with a theater group, with the playwright writing the script into a testament)
Flying the sanctum to the moon - Paul
On the moon. With Steve- Espen
No, the hieromagus IS steve – Paul
Soooo, we buy airplane tickets? - Nobel
Fuck buy. I've got Fate – Hermes
Fuck the spacetime continuum, I'm an acanthus – Paul
It's a rowboat. With Drake in it. Roll initiative. - ST
Of course you're the villains. You're the ones assembling the world-destruction device! – ST
No we don't. Well, yeah, we do. But only to study it. - Espen
I have a policy of not giving suicidal people guns - Hermes
Good point my young fellow - Cryptos
Unless it's very funny - Hermes
She's still the quirky Norwegian girl who couldn't believe her luck when the lead guitarist laid the moose on her - What the group thought Gry said
I've just realized when sphinx sight is the most useful: When sorting socks - Paul
I know what I would have done - Nobel
Set fire to him? - Hermes
You need to seriously talk to him one of these days - Paul
Yeah, you really have to have a confrontation soon - Espen
NO! Fuck no! Don't confront him, have a conversation! - Paul
God, we would shoot you - Paul
Why would God shoot me? - Håvard
The hand of God now has a glock – Paul
It was made. By something that was never born. From the Underworld. To contain my soul. I think «Ordinary» is not a word I would use for it. - Nobel
Quite – Chimera
Would you eat this? - Gry
Hell no – Lich
Best soul-test ever. - Paul
I don't think Pliskin's soul is covered by the «cryptid» section of the library – Paul
I've always been crap at those. Guardians use them to train with – Hermes
Bunnies? - Nobel
No! We will not make bunnies of doom – Hermes
Yeeeeees – Rui Shi
No – Nobel
Yes! - Rui shi
Especially snake-bunnies of doom - Chimera
Ooooh – Rui Shi
Repulsive yet strangely lovable- Chimera
I CAN look around corner, using space - Joar
I can do so without a spell. I walk over to them and look around them - Paul
I can do so too, without doing that. I have a mirror. - Espen
I can do it too. I HAVE AN ELEPHANT! - ST
The cargo hold is filled with GOLD!! - ST
Must. Fight. Urge. To. Bathe. - Paul
I was thinking the same: How can we do that without, y'know, harming ourselves? – Nobel
What's quickest and easiest? Checking every item, or just cursing it myself and then say «yes, there IS a curse» - Paul
Curse the curse - Espen
Recursively cursing – Paul
Curse the curse so it won't work - Espen
Of course then THAT will be cursed, since it's recursive – Paul
It's worse with time mages: I'll be so sorry for your loss – Paul
Oh, that's now? Ha-HAH! Taoist driveby! - Nobel
I don't think Yoric had glowing blue eyes though – ST
He did in the sequel though – Paul
Why did you bring the skull!! This is a taoist driveby, not an aztec one – Hermes
By the way, have you been drowning any more lately? - Hermes
You've been drowning? - Skadi
Oh yeah. Drowning: Very, very, very, very uncomfortable – Nobel
Together we form Captain Abyss! - Paul
Most interesting scrutinization tool ever: Look. Through. The. Crystal. Skull! - Paul
Vel, akkurat nå prøver jeg å mutere meg selv, så shh – Rui Shi
Where's her expiration date printed? - ST
Judging by how this session is going, probably her spleen – Paul
He burns his own arm, and drowns in the sink – ST
Hey! That only happened once! - Espen
Can I help? – Espen as Low-Key
I have a hammer you see – ST as Low-Key
Subtle as always – Paul
Well, he's subtle by not being subtle – ST
Well, it's a stone floor, so it's mostly scorchmarks - ST
Still, it's awesome stone. You damaged the awesome stone! - Gry
The fat-jokes of Atlantis – ST
Worst. Grimoire. Ever. - Paul
Very good, that almost didn't make any sense at all! - Paul as Cryptos
Now, what did it MEAN?!? - Espen
If he had to ask he wouldn't be a good sphinx - ST
Sphinxes, the only mages who could have an entire conversation and be too embarrased to ask what any of it meant – Gry
Vi forstår ige hinannen! - ST
Aaah! *flop* Even my backpack fell over in shock – Gry
We've been in 'of fuck' country for a while now – Gry
Because of MY MOTHER! - Espen
And why are the Guardians holding their victory celebration in the athenaeum? - Ahura Mazda
BECAUSE WE CAN! - Hermes
Even the clockroaches are tired of your shit – ST
I'll crush you like the Acanthus Tower – ST
Yes, it's the old man. As in Hermes – ST
You mean Low-Key?
What'd I say? - ST
Hermes - Paul
Well, it could be old-man Hermes - ST
I've come from the future to tell you I don't put up with this shit – Gry
Laaaakes! - Hal Uzum
How is that even possible? - Paul
Eh, he's got dyslexia? - ST
Well, I'm trying to think. Anything else? - Nobel
Well, we are investigating a murder. Do we need anything special for that? - Skadi
Future me will have arranged the trial just so I can learn the future spell - Andrea
Pling! - Fate
Aaaah! - Andrea & Hermes
Why did the two of you…what will you have be done? - Nobel
Now, let's get the blackboard. Proposition one… - Hermes
Whiteboard, please – Nobel
Whatever. Racist. Now, proposition one: Future Nobel is a dick. - Hermes
Agreed – Rui Shi
Think outside the box. The box being the time – Nobel
They like each other and go off on a honeymoon together somewhere – Joar
It's called the underworld – Espen
You're asking one of the masters of guanxi to tell you if he needs anything – Gry
DROP. YOUR. PANTS! - Paul
Well, she was known as Joan of Arc - Nobel
My long-lost love? Nobel, I am your father! - Paul as Polydegmon
He'd be away a lot at work but he wouldn't just bail – ST
So Polydegmon went to work one day and just forgot to go home? - Espen
The cocoa is not sufficient shielding against the Ananke, mortal – Paul
Well, it IS silver-ladder cocoa – Gry
Still, it'd give a true method of ressurcection, which is kinda big - Henrik
Well, she'd be undead - Thomas
Would they be satisfied with an undead sister? - Henrik
Who knows? They're germans! - Thomas
Think evil anorexic treebeard – Henrik
…what?!?! - Henrik
Give a biscuit, give a buscit, make a snake-biscuit magath – Thomas
There's no harm in…no, wait there's much harm in trying – Dorian
No it isn't - Nobel
We tried to find Chimera yesterday - Dorian
No, we SUCCEEDED in finding Chimera. It's the succeeding that's dangerous – Nobel
Shoooes, they're a gateway drug – ST as Ouroboros
Yeah, but zombies don't self-detonate – Nobel
«Pling» - ST fate sight
Everyone else: «Aaaagh!!»
What?!? Why would zombies self-detonate? - Nobel
Clearly they're sick of life – Dorian
Also, bombs are very useful in the war against…..bad people – Nobel
Help me Bernie, you're my only hope
Ahura Mazda goes 'I find your lack of mathematics disturbing'
He's more typewriter than man now
The accounting is strong in this one
This is a fountain pen, a more elegant tool for a more civilized age
Well, Nobel's meant to research it for a while now, but something's always going on - Espen
Well, these days have been VERY quiet I felt – ST
Yes, but they've been spent in a constant state of trepidation – Thomas
Some might say it's the quiet…(removes glasses)…before the storm. Beeeeowwww – Paul
Krever 10 suksesser da, uten assistants – Paul
Ah - ST
I've got a limited amount of hands - Paul
Well, that can be arranged. What? (points at Nobel) he's not using his at the moment – Thomas
Cthulhu's on the floor?
Nooo, Cthulhu's on the floor!
There. Now, let's be the voices in his head.
What are you going to will have done? Nobody expects the Acanthus inquisition. Our chief weapons are chronos shields, divinations, surprise and grammar nobody can understand. You'll kill someone tomorrow. You will then be under arrest. - Paul
Think about it, a Delorean time-travelling car, what better way to aim?!? - Nobel
She IS named after the norse goddess of pain…and skis, apparently – Hermes
Well, makes sense – Dorian
My dad took me to Aspen once, did some skiing. Did feel like those two were linked most of the time - Dorian
Nazis from behind, it's more likely than you think – Thomas
Wokka wokka wokka - Hermes
POKE - Dorian
Yoink, heave! – Hermes
Good sentinels always scrutinize people before punching them in the face – Dorian
Then again, how many of us can actually telepathically show him the resonance we're after? - Skadi
We can do interpretive dance – Dorian
Hedgespun earmuffs from the future – ST
If you compare amount of evil per litre, lakes are IT – Paul
I feel a scientific experiment coming on – Thomas
The question now is who is person X and why/Y? - Hermes
Someone tell the snake about alternate timelines! - Dorian
Humans, they're made of PEOPLE! - mental Skadi
This game went place I didn't expect – Paul
The glass house, the past, Dublin – Espen
I grabbed a Seer, but then I died and went to Dublin – Dorian Grey
I think we had a more interesting day than they did – Hermes
I died! And then you landed on me! - Dorian
In Dublin – Hermes
And then we went to my room for a nap – Dorian
So, Moros? - Low-Key
Yes, yes – Dorian
And you haven't died before? - Low-Key
I try to avoid it as a rule – Dorian
A good Arrow approaches flower arrangement like he does any other battlefield - Paul
With a shotgun - Gry
He's probably walking around in the sanctum, going 'what's this?' and 'oooh, what's that?' - Thomas
Oh, like in «Nightmare Before Christmas», that dude Jack, who sings «What's this?» - Gry
Though hopefully less psychotic – ST
Bah! We're mages – Thomas
What do you mean 'the Arrow took the item'?!? - Skadi
Apparently they do that here – Dorian
«Don't hit me with the books, use the chair!» - Dorian
«Of course» grabs – Skadi
«Be careful, don't tear the stiches» – Hermes
«Good point» pauses, looks at it «the chair is an antique» – Skadi
«No, the stitches in your back. From the surgery» – Hermes
«Oh, those» – Skadi
«I'm a guardian, I don't care about the chair» – Hermes
Nå ser jeg for med sånn Guardian campaign som 'use a condom': Practice safe magic, use a rote. Be safe, use a tool – Hermes
Don't be a tool, use one – Thomas
I enjoy your philosophical discussions on the nature of dickishness – ST
So a formal letter requesting Polydegmon to meet us at his convenience – Gry
Then what do you do with the letter? - ST
Give it to a man, then give the man cancer – Thomas
Our previous moros, who you had personal relations with, is sadly no longer with us – Gry
We therefore offer you this replacement – Paul
The new and improved model, with striking looks – Thomas
What, it's not like he asked you to help. He also just basically absolved you of guilt, stating he probably deserves this anyway - ST
Yeah, that don't fly - Paul
What, the guardian can't accept that someone else has a martyr complex? - ST
No, we trademarked that shit! - Paul
Nobel is happy the Free Council don't follow that belief - Espen
Hermes is just glad he's on the other side of the table - Paul
Considering throwing a fork, but no. Needs it to eat – Gry
Well, I don't know how familiar the local mages are with the VOID – Gry
The outer void, please – ST
Well, we ARE in San Fran – Espen
Getting pimp-slapped by Rasputin- Paul
Oh right, speaking of which – Espen
Then YOU would have residual spite levels – Skadi
Yes. We have. That's why we run around with machine guns! - Hermes
The spite must flow – Dorian
The pentacle gave me bad hair!!! - ST, as Seer of the Throne
You want Time so you can punch people through voicemail? - ST
I've only died once and I'm not keen on repeating it! - Dorian Grey
(speaking to a raven) Do you want to come home with me? - Dorian Grey
ROLL. SEDUCTION. - Paul
Nya-ha-ha, supernal, I have you now! - Skadi
You're really paranoid, aren't you? - Nobel
I'm a death magnet, fuck off! - Dorian Grey
(While talking about Ahura Mazda)
We're not giving the book of darky dark to THAT man - Dorian
But he's not darky dark – Hermes
He could become! – Dorian
He's more darky snark – Hermes
He (points at own char sheet) doesn't even know if iron exists! - Espen
You are the worst smith ever – ST
One day you're going to go too far and wake up to the horde of the unliving! - Dorian
No, no, no! Nobel, I am not allowing you to bring explosives into my head – Hermes
It's not the head, it's in your soul – Rui Shi
No, you and Skadi remain the sane members of this group - Baphomet
Now, that's a perfectly acceptable english sentence – Skadi
How does he know that effect is vulgar? - Nobel
It tries to eat him? - Dorian
You're not pumping fear into me! Liquid fear was not on my menu today! - Dorian
Ok, then we do the toilet thing – Nobel
The group tries to interrogate Claire:
How long was I out?!? Tell me! - Claire
As you might have noticed, I'm not very good at this! - Dorian
YES! That's why I'm asking you! - Claire
Yeah. I think me and hermes would have done a better job – Nobel
THIS is why Homeland security didn't hire us – Skadi
What?!? What happened to the past six years? - Claire
We didn't do anything to you - Nobel
How did I end up in this cell?!? - Claire
You were working for…….bad people – Nobel
Bad people?!? If you're the good people, I'm glad I worked for the bad people – Claire
No, these are worse – Dorian
How do you feel about slavery? - Nobel
You're insane! Oh my god, I'm held captive by insane people – Claire
Not anymore – Dorian
What? No snark? No belittling comments? - Paul
Hey, he's been unusually pleasant all evening - ST, talking about Ahura Mazda
He's probably on drugs - Paul
Sadly it's probably true and I can't argue against it – Gry
While talking about Ahura Mazda's name, what it means and why he chose it:
It's what he aspires to be. I think. I hope. I pray – Skadi
The schitzophenia strikes again! - ST
Schitzophrenia 2: This time it's personal – Thomas
No: return of the schitzophrenia – Paul
I don't like dogs. Dogs bite hard – Nobel
Much of christianity claims that fairies are just demons in disguise - ST
Total laughter by everyone
*Sung to Transformers tune* It's fairies, demons in disguise - Several people
I'm honoring the book, giving it flowers, putting coins over its 'eyes' – Gry
I'm just there to make sure she doesn't do anything crazy – Dorian
So we're defeating the hordes of the undead….with the power of MIME! - Paul
*entire conversation is in very angry tone of voice*
I was almost eaten by the abyss, I can be snarky – Dorian
I have horns – Hermes
And they fit you very well – Dorian
Thank you – Hermes
If it's absorbing damage without any existing wounds it'll be internal bleeding, bruises, organ failiure, etc - ST
So mostly stuff that can be covered up with makeup - Gry
So you'll just look like your boyfriend is abusive – Paul
Well, he's Irish – Gry
Mer litt sånn 'Tassen har en ball' - ST
See Spot. See Spot sacrifice his soul to the abyss. See Spot gain ultimate power – Thomas
Gods, it's just you two. Do I want to know what you two do? - ST
So… - Espen
So… - ST
So, we're alone here - Paul
More, «Hermes isn't here, let's go get a delorean» – Thomas
I think I'm slightly less incompetent than you – Dorian
You asked her about slavery! - Dorian
They're SEERS! That's what they DO! - Nobel
Ask people about slavery? - Gry
I'm not going to deny death. Well, I am, but not like this – Thomas
So, do this often? - Nobel
Not (nearly/rarely) enough - Dorian
What, punch women with crucifixes? - Paul
No, punch helpless women – Joar
Had a nice day? - Nobel
Jane poked me - Skadi
I punched a ghost out of your girlfriend - Dorian
You met Jane? - Rui Shi
So you drugged her as well? – Hermes
No, I wanted to punch her while she was unconscious – Dorian
Ah. I will take note of this – Hermes
What's up with this place? What have you been doing? - Anna
What are you talking about? - Dorian
Rageddy Anne: *randomly punches stone wall, it cracks*
Apparently the abyss thought our walls were nommy - Dorian
Technically correct, but it has some obvious faults - Paul
Oh Gods, the pun: faults - Thomas
I think, we're a very dysfunctional cabal - Nobel
Excellent! No, not that – Dorian
He's very popular these days - ST
He's the village bicycle….OF HELL! - Thomas
In any case, let's DO SHIT - Hermes
Well, I'm meditating – Rui Shi
Surely, you are the paragon of action - Dorian
We could just do it in my…head…astral…realm…thing – Nobel
We could just do it in his head – Dorian
PLEASE SPECIFY – Skadi
No, there's no guardians in this city who I think it'd be a good idea to ask the question 'do you know how to summon Gaap, demon of the waters?' - Hermes
What about Low-Key? - Dorian
Yes, he's one of the guardians I considered that it would not be a good idea to to ask – Hermes
Well, it would show you're branching out from Abyssal stuff – Dorian
Obrimoi, we're all about setting fire to things. I learned that from my mother – Nobel
Pliskin, you feel like you're drowning. Well, you start coughing up water. - ST
Hmmmmm. Ferskvann? - Espen
We've had a report of an area effect of sleepers being hit with exploding mana - Concilium
Does the Eye of the Storm wish to comment before we begin investigating? - Concilium
Hmmm, interesting, I seem to be under an Aztec curse. Now, what's for breakfast? - Hermes
Which of you bombed sleepers with organ-targeting mana?!? - Concilium
They had it coming! - Nobel
Well, there's nothing that a big enough ritual can't solve - Nobel
Is it still necrophilia if the zombie rapes you? - ST
The many ethical quandaries that can show up only in mage – Thomas
It could be worse: it's Hell, not the Underworld – Skadi
She loooks completely human now - Skadi
So what does that make her? What is she? A….were…pire? - Dorian
A werepire? How does that even work? - Hermes
She turns into a dock at night? - Thomas
Oh? How so? - ST
She's a were…pier – Thomas
*Everyone groans at pun of badness*
*casting Divination:* When will homeland security attack the poor defenceless murderous vampire thingie? - Hermes
*Divination* - Hermes
We'll kill her – Hermes
No we wont! – Dorian
Yes we will. I just saw it - Hermes
Ok, fuck you time (points into air), I'm taking over! – Dorian
Werepyres: At the full moon they spontaneously combust. Worst. Minor. Template. Ever. Their power trait is Combustion, their mana-trait if Fuel, and their morality scale is Sogginess or Flammability. The people who get burn damage from them are converted, infected with the power, giving them fever and sweating that builds. Once it's strong enough you undergo the First Flame on the following full moon. The entire template would die out if it wasn't for some mitigating circumstances: a) It's contagious during the incubation period, and even burning others with a match can infect them, b) small sparks and flickers of flame can manifest off of them once they've progressed past the fever state, c) some manage to run around once they combust, burning a lot of people, and d) a few victims are smart enough to stay submerged in a bathtub during the full moon, surviving longer, infecting more people.
You did research on them last time, and it said that the Aswang are solely female - ST
Perhaps the male Aswang are just much more cunning. Cunningly disguised - Paul
….as lawnchairs – Thomas
An army of invisible velociraptors, there's probably something it can't solve, but I can't think of anything - Paul
Well, an army of invisible T-rexes - Thomas
No, then you'd just need more of them. MOOOORE! - Paul
I think what we've got here is a very strange cold war – Thomas
No, because you don't make them from scratch. You cast the spell on sleepwalkers, then they're already smart - ST
So invisible velociraptors… They're made of people! - Paul
WHY do we have a sphinx as a librarian? YOU should have that job! - Joar (peker på Thomas)
I'm watching a movie with our kidnapping victim – Thomas
So us going out and hunting down monsters to protect the Veil just works to increase your dating pool? - Paul
Your changeling is so fat he can't find Drake's hoard - Paul
It's symbolically killing the abyss - Nobel
It'll also technically kill the actual, y'know, person - Hermes
We'll do a drive-by abyssal exorcism - Paul
He'll sit down and relax with the lex - Paul
….looking for…. – Nobel
DOOM! - Paul
In all the wrong places – ST
That's a wonderful slogan: Ban some demon summoning! The occasional demon is wrong! - Thomas
We can, we have the technology. Saner, safer – Paul
Cleaner – ST
The 6 million sanity points man – Paul
Really? That's magic smithing? Wait, you don't make rings, do you? – Claire
No he can't, that's 14th level – Hermes
You know if you don't tie him down he'll just go there on his own. – Dorian
Ey! – Nobel
As if you wouldn't. I've seen your soul – Dorian
Are you implying that I'm too narcissistic to realize it'll fail and just give up? - Nobel
You singlehandedly charged three abyssal manifestations – Dorian
They were ruining my crafting hangar!! – Nobel
Yeah, let's not go there. And by there I mean the past – Hermes
- Libertines vote 'no' to roving deathsquads
- Wouldn't your life be better with some roving deathsquads? (this ad paid for by the Guardians of the Veil) – Paul
The crocodile mummy is in reality Ahura Mazda. It is in fact part of an elaborate prank – Paul
So where? - Dorian
Mars - Skadi
The Underworld - Dorian
Ah - Dorian
Fuck - Skadi
I wonder what I would turn into? - Skadi
People drink the milk of the gods to turn into you! - Dorian
Angry, Angry Arrows. It's the mage version of Hungry Hungry Hippos – ST
So, Canada. How is this not a joke? - Hermes
I found vampires in Canada – Dorian
This explains why people in Canada don't lock their front doors. DUDE, they're Vampires! - ST
Again we meet – Spirit
Regrettable - Ghost
It's the only times they can ever encounter each other - ST
I love you - Spirit
Eat me - Ghost
Om nom nom: GEIST – Thomas
That Borgia diamond. It should really be worth it – Paul
Send the cake to them – Dorian
No! – Nobel
No, no, no. Then the cake will arrive radioactive and filled with spiders – Dorian
You're learning – Nobel
We did the cynical walrus thing – Dorian
What?!? – Nobel
Cynical walrus – Dorian
Oh, yes, that. Sorry, I heard cynical Moros – Nobel
We're not fucking with reality – Espen
… - Group
Drop the 'with' – Espen
Holy prostitution batman! - Robin (via Paul)
We're not arrogant: We're right – Nobel
Robot apocalypse calls for willpower use – Thomas
I feel kinda sorry for him, for sky….net…. – Nobel
Down where? - Gry
HELL - ST
Heeeeellllll - Thomas
Hhhheellll - ST
HELLLLL – Thomas
Hellllll – ST
Out of curiosity….. - Espen
Wait, have we ended up in the eighties? - ST
Already?!? - Espen
So your reaction is 'what, blowing up Oakland is bad?' - Dorian/Hermes
Well, of course you aim – Nobel
Your Mother Jokes of the Awakened
Your mother is so fat
…she joined two orders
…she joined the adamantine ballista
…she sank atlantis/broke the ladder
…guardians use her to hide the bodies
…spells require extra size factors to affect her
…the silver ladder uses her as a cryptopoly
Your mother is so stupid
…she thought the Mysterium was an Agatha Christie novel
…she thought the Free Council came with every purchase
…she joined Greenpeace to meet other Guardians of the Veil
…a perfecting spell of Mind rendered her unconscious
…the Seers worship her as an Exarch
…she's immune to the Mind Arcanum
Your mother is so lazy she…
…doesn't walk her Path, she drives it
…she uses the Silver Escalator
…she didn't Awaken; she hit the snooze button
…uses the Silver Ladder to reach the top-shelf
Your mother is so ugly, the mysterium classifies her as Terata
But would I have considered taking my pants off? - Thomas
I do have a fair presence of mind, also I have Prudence. So yeah, I think I'm naked – Thomas
Skadi very pointedly tries not to look at people, because they tend to be naked – Gry
I'm sitting under this glowing hot thing - Thomas
So take off all your clothes – Paul
That's only for mummies though – Thomas
That's right: This cabal only gets undressed for mummies! – Paul
So the crocodile army Ascends – ST
… – Everyone
It'd be the ultimate weapon against the Exarchs – Thomas
Well, I am the last god-king of Atlantis – Paul
Also: Putting on boxershorts and jumping onto his (pointing at Hermes) crocodile – Thomas
There's not a single reason not to give these crocodiles 9-agains – Paul
We can't take on any more people. This crocodile is full – Hermes
We can't stop here. This is crocodile country - Hermes
*Casts a command spell on the crocodiles* Get it on – Hermes
Hermes: Crocodile pimp – Dorian
My previous phone got eaten by crocodiles – Dorian
Crocodiles? - Panopticon
Yeah. It was in my pants – Dorian
Was it the food? - Thomas
He uttered an intense and sudden scream of pain before he fell down unconscious - ST
German food? - Thomas
So, wizards are like nazi bunkers? - Wolf
You hear lots of stories about them but don't know what is true? - Wolf
(shouts) Aim for the American! – Rache
What?!? – Dorian
Never mind. It is a local saying, it means…..shoot well… - Rache
Cut off the head of the chicken – Espen
Then it grows back – Johannes
Snowmaidens are ghouls in drag! - Thomas
Why would she steal corpse? They are hard to carry and contain little valuables. [short pause] Strange woman – Vladimir
It's kinda like brussel sprouts then: When you're a kid they're icky and you do anything not to eat them, but as you grow older you go "hmmm…this isn't so bad. I'll have some please" - Gry
And by brussel sprouts, we mean… - Gry
SOULS – Henrik, Paul & Thomas
Imagine the worst nightmare! - Pepper
Penguins! - Rosemary
Then fuck it up 20 times! - Pepper
Gigantic penguins! - Rosemary
Or plan 9 from the Outer Void – Thomas
Do not argue with goats. That way lies madness – Dorian
"Make a deal or be a meal" – Thomas, as Tremere Lich PR department
What's wrong with the water? - ST
It's full of ladies - Thomas
- Salted toast
"What, no cheese?" - Paul
"They're Lemurians" - Espen
"Of course" - Paul
…and by souls, they mean brussel sprouts… - Gry
Well, you subtract his composure technically, but… - Thomas
Yeeeah, no; he's a corpse - ST
But, he's very composed. Or, no… - Thomas
No. He's decomposed – ST
Did we just turn the Bearers of the Eternal Voice into a Hitler-detector? - ST
Dude, I've got Satan on speed-dial – Skadi
Best. Mastigos. Ever. – Thomas
We can't make a disintegration gauntlet! - Dorian
YES WE CAN! - Nobel
To Skadi: "I invited you here because I have a duty to you as your Mentor. I am also checking up on my other pupil, Babel" - Cryptos
*he indicates other person present in room*
Very pointedly: "Now, I am going to go fetch some documents and refreshments. I may be gone for some time" – Cryptos
MATE! - Thomas
*singing* In the jungle, the mighty jungle. A-wimbawey, a-wimbawey - Paul
Can I borrow your wrench for a little while? - Hermes
The last time someone said that they became an Archmaster – Dorian
Well, that's good! We need more Archmasters! - Skadi
«This is a puppy. This is a puppy being raped. Welcome to the World of Darkness». Perhaps not something they should put on their books – Paul
So, where would you like your laser-burn? - Skadi
When I woke up this morning, which by now is over 25 hours ago, that wasn't a question I expected to hear - Hermes
We don't do subtle – Paul
You don't hit below the belt – ST
We just smack them in the face with a giant fish - Gry
No no, we're self-supplied with crocodiles now – Hermes
Sometimes being surprised is good - Hermes
Not with tentacles! - Dorian & ST
She could take us out back and shoot us - Paul
But is it worth a shot? - Espen
The easiest one would be, ah, no, too many thugs with chains – Espen
//Situation: Asking criminals about where they can find Fairweather, their 'deity' //
I just realized, while we're beating them up: «Where is you god now?!?» - Thomas
This is all very well, but what about the fairies?!? - Nobel
Ooh, pass me those grapes will you. Oh, they're filled with souls, how delicious! - Dorian
Ah, how true – Nobel
DAMN! I've got a plan! - Hermes
Ah, my apprentice is all grown up, getting Dooms from the Moros Oracle – Thomas
Well, technically YOU got the Doom, she was just the messenger – ST
Yeah, she started out with delivering messages in Venice, and now she's stepped up – Thomas
The fun part is that was just two days earlier – ST
They DO grow up so fast – Espen
We apologize, the Minister is dead right now, please try again later – Exarch
*Darth Vader voice* «Skadi, I am your Neighbour» – Paul, as Low-Key
We do not push the Abyss! - Dorian
You do not push the Abyss, the Abyss pushes you – Paul
And by push we mean 'ejects the button into your face' – Paul
I am going to KILL this biscuit! - Dorian
You're feeding the Abyss biscuits?!? - Nobel
I thought it would make it like me! If I don't get any paradox next week, you'll know why!!! - Dorian
The Guardians do not approve - Hermes
And they called ME mad! - Nobel
(Re: Shatterstar) Why was it made? - Dorian
Hmmm….wording…. - ST
PLEASE be «To destroy Atlantis» - Thomas
What?!? WHY would you want that to be true?!? - ST
Because then I'm RIGHT! - Thomas
So…a deathquake is an Obrimos family reunion? - Gry
It's everyone's family reunion – Thomas
No thing in the world has just one reason for happening – Lune 1
They thought they needed it – Lune 2
They thought it was a good idea at the time – Lune 1
*shudders* - Thomas
This is probably what Ahura Mazda eats each morning – Thomas
Mmmmh, yummy Qlippoth flakes! - ST (as Mazda)
It's sacrilege! - Thomas
Sacrilicious, please – Gry
We can become the Condiments of the Storm. This hurricane is spicy! – Paul
You hit me with my mother! – Hermes
She would do the same! – Dorian
Faith + Lust: Welcome to the Catholic Church! - Paul
Hope + Pride: What could possibly go wrong?!? - ST
She tried to kill my order! - Nobel
You killed hers – ST
…There were survivors – Espen
Mumble mumble – Dorian
Beg your pardon, didn't quite get that – Islington
Sorry, had something in my throat – Dorian
And my SOUL – Thomas
Eye of the Storm, this is Lemuria – G.I.Joe
(steeples fingers) Not for long, mwahahahah – Dorian
Bwahahahahaha, I NOW HAVE DESTROY OBJECT! Bad Mystagogues! You can't stop me from getting it even if I have to consume my previous incarnations to do so! – Thomas
While I'm planning to BE THE SUN!!!!! – ST
By the way… - Espen
We're from somewhere – Paul
Good point – Espen
Ah, the Knights templar, they were great – Paul
*as Tony the Tiger* They're grrrrreat! – Thomas
Is the lightning from Thor's Hammer tame? – Nobel
Nooooo – Skadi
Then it should work – Nobel
Ok, the vikings were now officially insane – Hermes
Probably because of all the mushrooms they ate – Nobel
They ate mushrooms? Wasn't that Super Mario? – Hermes
My plans don't include being zapped by Thor's Hammer, they include saving the universe! – Nobel
Nonono, I'm not gonna date DEATH; I already have a girlfriend – Nobel
I do love how that's not just your first reason, it's your only reason – Hermes
It's like the oriental, erotic 'Waiting for Godot' – Skadi
What have you done to her? - Nathuram
NOTHING! - Dorian
She's been crying - Nathuram
That was the Adamantine Sage's fault – Dorian
*Looks him up and down *
So you killed her - Nathuram
Nooo! She killed herself! ….I think Hermes helped – Dorian
(re: demolishing homes and killing people with wanton explosions)
I…don't…do…that….anymore! - Nobel
They were on my lawn! - Nobel
So you're the peacemaker? - Dorian
YES! - Nobel
Oh, that's a horrible, horrible pun – Hermes
And apparently the woman among them is wearing pants - ST
I know! I checked! - Pepper
He could try the engineer solution – Paul
Blow it up? - ST
No, that's not the engineer method - Paul
Awwww. It's how they cure lycanthropy - ST
Right, that reminds me! - Espen
So we only NOT killed his wife once – Dorian
Where is your tower now! The Obrimos is sitting on it! - Thomas
An Obrimos' work is never done. Or never finished, at least – ST
An acanthus' work is never begun – Paul
Right, how do you kill a god? You're a Guardian, you should know – Nobel
I'm sure there are protocols – Hermes
I will set it on fire - Nobel
After it has left my sister – Nobel
So… lunar eclipse is when the Sun and the Moon are sandwitching Gaia? - Gry
And planetary alignment… is a gangbang! - Paul
Oh, we want to be PERCEIVED as the heroes, we don't want to BE the heroes! - Skadi
Well, I'm trying to be realistic, you know. – Nobel
Så på norsk…«sinsstafsing»? - Espen
(Conversation about Ahura Mazda, Skadi's mentor)
No, are we sure he's a human being? Have you scrutinized him? - Dorian
*smacks him in back of head* – Skadi
What, you thought it too! – Dorian
….shut up – Skadi
I'm not ancient and terrible! - Skadi
You could be by that time – Dorian
So go on, rip apart the continuities of time so you can seduce Apollo. Thoroughly – Dorian
Why are you smiling so much? - Vegas hooker
Because my wife is deeeeeeeeeeead! - Nobel's dad
(said to Hermes:) May I just say, you're a bastard – Nobel
*points with both hands at Espen* PLING! - ST
Bwahahaha, I have genius plan!!!! - Nobel
Abyssal reality tried to take over - Hermes
That was ONCE! - Nobel
Weeelll – Hermes, Skadi & Dorian
Ok, TWICE! It was TWICE! That's IT! - Nobel
Hyper-Lemurantis – Gry
Moonbase! Bah! That's too low – Espen
The tower of Babel! It's made of people!!! - ST
My name is Hermes, and I'm the last god-king of Atlantis, and the Harlequin - Hermes
Also (changes outfit) I'm Batman - Hermes
More shocked silence
OBJECTION!!!! - Yama (pointing an indignant finger at Hermes)
What? Why can't he be Batman? - Dorian
Well, it's you – Nobel
Hey! I'm your god-king! - Hermes
Bah! I'm a Libertine! - Nobel
Well then I'm Batman! - Hermes
…well played – Nobel
So, Batman: King of the Libertines – Hermes
At the Convocation:
Ladder #1 "THE GUARDIANS CAN SUCK HORSECOCK!"
Ladder #2 "Motion carried"
So you're a grumpy old cowboy now? - Skadi
DAMN, that's moros – Espen
Nobel, believe you me, it was tremendeously awkward in that parallell timeline – Hermes
So…the enlightened Kraken helps you ascend… - ST
This is why when you kill someone you first poke out their eyes – Dorian
That's remarkably psychopathic – Hermes
I think we call that plan B. And by 'B' I mean.. – Hermes
BATMAN! - Skadi
Where do you get a horse's head? - Dorian
From…a…horse! - Hermes
She said 'humans' - ST
Oh, then she's right - Espen
Right. I'm Batman! - Paul
How many licks does it take to get to the top of the celestial ladder? – Thomas
The smoon - Hermes
Pling - Fate Sight
THE HELL?!?! - Espen
You should have programmed an AI for world domination – Espen
I don't think that counts as an ''everyday task'' – Paul
Yeeeeah, let's not go there. And by 'there' we mean Pen Island – ST
So we made a permanent portal in their longhouse – Espen
Longhouse is long – ST
Or do we want to keep Valhalla? - Espen
I think we should give it away, otherwise we've simply destroyed one of their water-jugs, and that's just more impolite – Paul
"We made a permanent portal in your building, so as an apology we made you this Valhalla.
PS: We apologize for turning your water-mug into Valhalla. Have this portal as recompense.
Regards, Eye Of The Storm" - Nobel
Wow, Goldilocks and the Guardians of the Veil. «Someone's been sitting in my chair!» - Gry
It's like a cross between an elected president and Jesus – ST
So it's Barack Obama then – Thomas
It has maps though – ST
HE-HEY! - Gry
..Maps of Europe, that is. Perhaps not useful for you while in this crypt – ST
Depends. Zoom in and enhance! - Thomas
But what if you explode your pants? - Skadi
Then you have other problems! - Dorian Gray
Dude, did you see the fairy I summoned in Vienna, the one which ate eyes? - Hermes
That was in Venice - Dorian
Right, Venice. Vienna was the one with the insectoid creature - Hermes
No, that was Prague - Dorian
Prague, right. Were we ever IN Vienna? - Hermes
No, we weren't - Dorian
Well, we sorta have to now - Nobel
Yeah, to see what we'll summon there - Hermes
This city sucks! - Dorian
Hey! - Skadi
I've been turned into an old man and impregnated by a snake! - Dorian
Oh, she wanted a hug - Dorian
That's why next time you wear rubber - Nobel
I was also set on fire. It hurt – Dorian
Why would you make a poisonous memory card?!? - ST
He's a matter mage: BECAUSE HE CAN! - Paul
You're wearing clothes; They are now sulphuric acid. - Espen
White phosphorous - Paul
But that's mean! - Espen
Somebody set us up the snake – Thomas
They want me to marry into the royal family here - Hermes
But WHY?!?!? - Nobel
I don't think it's because I'm Batman – Hermes
People suggest what Skadi should say as the deputy Spear
I have confiscated your phone, pray I do not confiscate anything further – Paul,
(mimes clenching the iron gauntlet) Like your testicles – Thomas
You're checking if our souls are connected to the rocks?!?!? - Hermes
Yep. When in doubt, go for the soul – Dorian
Ooooki, I'm going to go be creeped out over there now – Hermes
Hey, it's the absolute measure of truth! - Dorian
The motion is tabled - Paul
Stone tabled even - ST
So is Aslan – Thomas
In the world of darkness, farmers still exist: «Farmers: The Harvesting», a storytelling game of fading crops – Thomas
I should know where that is, it's on a mountain somewhere – Gry
(sarcastically) Noooooooo, in Norway!?!?!?!?! - Thomas
I don't think midgets have fangs – ST
Says YOU! Midget vampires from Mars! – Thomas
I'm Batman to my friends. Mr. Batman to you - Thomas portraying Hermes
(hummed to the Batman-theme) na na na na na na na naah god-king! – Thomas
You are meddling with holy things that you have no right to meddle with – Úlfhéðinn
I just realized that he's saying this to me while I'm wearing a pope hat – Paul
Nono, everyone in Norway is a werewolf – Paul
Norway is a werewolf – Espen
Transform and roll out! – Paul
You don't travel across the Atlantic ocean with your driving instructor – ST
Veeel; langkjøring – Espen
Vinegar blir usynlig - ST
So what else is new? - Espen
Shoot to wound, not to kill, it's the Christian way - ST
The stars are wrong for murdering today - Gry
In Soviet Lemuria, enlightenment finds YOU!
Når du og jeg hadde orgiene. - Joar
IN GAME! - Joar
I am from Russia
my parents called me Lenin
you can call me "Lenny"
Gostitutes / Prolems: Prostitute Golems
Mumpires / Vammies: Vampire Mummies
So this is the user's manual of Lilith. Does it explain how to turn her on? - Gry
That was act 1: The Tomb of Sin - ST
Rated PG13 for mild sexual content - Thomas
Fighting Style: Bloodsucking
So basically we have the rosetta-stone of GOD! - Thomas
Well, Lilith - Thomas
Atlantis got talent - ST
That's obviously where TV got the idea from - Thomas
I'd suggest we nick the sun and the moon - Gry
We seduce him - Jan
God, this is turning into Changeling - Gry
I keep imagining a Pulp-cover: 'Love harem of the Yeti' - Thomas
The sequel: 'Hamburgers in the Himalayas' - Thomas
What happens in Tibet stays in Tibet - Gry
What's under the bridge if we're the Yetis? - Thomas
A goat, obviously - ST
The Hieromagus! - Jan
Teaching Yetis the fine art of hamburgers - Thomas
So, seppuku for the win. Literally – ST
He loves it! Nobel wants to sleep with it, but in a non-kinky way – Espen
(upon meeting the Midgarðsormr)
We're going to need a bigger boat! – Hermes
You know, guardians need vegetables too – Gry
So guardians fertilize their carrots with catapults?!? - ST
Well, who wouldn't? - Espen
Turns out my grandfather stole the hand of Nuada – Hermes
What, why?! What did she ever do to you?!? - Dorian
No no no, not her, Nuada the deity – Hermes
Yeah, but last time the university tried to eat me – Dorian
In the Astral? - Hermes and Skadi
No, in the real world – Dorian
There you go then – Hermes
Yeeeah, Lilith has other methods of staying young, like eating the souls of children. Literally. – ST
Well, Nobel has had ideas about… - Espen
Eating the souls of children?!? - Paul
Yeah, because all cities are full of idiots. – Dorian
Wow, you DID get cynical when you got old. – ST
Let's make sure he never gets old then. – Espen
The problem with tactics is when you have a nuke, then everything looks nukable. – Dorian
And the agreement could also state they send two people with us when we use the hammer, one Arrow and one Mysterium – Rui Shi
Excellent, then we have… - Dorian
Cannon fodder! – Hermes
I didn't say that. – Dorian
I did! - Hermes
Thank you Guardian. – Dorian
Minner meg på, hva skjedde egentlig med The Condiments? - Jan
We ate them. – Thomas
(entire group collapses in laughter when seeing the look on Jan's face when he realizes this isn't a joke)
So I set myself up as the god of the post-apocalyptic world…Batman. The sad thing is that this makes more sense than many of our other plans – Hermes
So, 25 years into the future, because you weren't there, Greenland probably has AIDS – Skadi
Yes. That's another reason for why we should get me back – Hermes
Ah, of course – Skadi
Also, technically it's the glaciers that have aids – Hermes
So I was shot, by a shark, on land - Espen
…in the future – ST
I'd like to file a complaint – Espen
He even had fillings in his teeth, that's basically bling – Dorian
Wait! Do I want to reconfigure object or do I want to eat the glass for mana? - Nobel
One side is victorian time-traveling psychics, the other side is Thor, god of thunder! That's some family! - Paul
The result is Skadi – ST
That makes so much sense! - Paul
Well, apparently it would be handy to find the USS Eldridge, but I'm not sure how you find disappearing time-traveling US warships – Hermes
You want to go to Alcatraz in the POST-APOCALYPSE?!? - Skadi
Well, the ghosts are DEAD – Nobel
(between gasps of laughter) No! Shit! - ST
Astute Nobel, very astute – Dorian
Breaking the universe, it's a mundane action - Espen
For some of us it's reflexive – Paul
When copying the grimoire we could edit away the 'create hallow' spell - Espen
Why would we do that? - Håvard
For shits and giggles – Espen
So he's a fate-fucker? Most. Awakward. Summoning. Ever. - Håvard
That's what we did with the champagne in Lemuria - ST
Magical Tradition: Drunk Summoning – Gry
Kill it with fire – Paul
THE HIERARCH!!! - Espen
You know you want to: Go on, check your mother – Paul
No. I do not want to check my mother – Håvard
Why not? The rest of us did - Paul
Whack-a-mole with Tick-Tock men - Håvard
Our sanctum is inhabited by, by… - Thomas
…an evil cancerous growth-thing! - ST
So just like always then - ST
DON'T TALK ABOUT PLISKIN THAT WAY – Paul
The cynical walruses! They have evolved! - Paul
My walrus-senses are tingling! Someone must be feeling happiness over there! - Gry
Quick, to the tusk-mobile - Thomas
You have the strangest feeling, the one you got when you met the Condiments – ST
Go on: EAT THEM! – Thomas
Y'know, I'm losing my faith in humanity – Nobel
I'm losing faith in us – Dorian
Why US?!? - Nobel
There are some craters with your name on it – Dorian
…point – Nobel
Well, not that many – Nobel
The link to the watchtowers is forged with the mind, soul, body, heart, all that shit. That's why individual mages have insight, understanding, and…. – Dorian
(interrupting) So it's like a liver – Nobel
Basically – Dorian
You know, I didn't think snakes would be that prejudiced – Dorian
So far we can't make bullets that kill people! - Dorian
I don't meant DIE-die, I mean Morors-die – Nobel
We might not die – Dorian
Speak for yourself - Nobel
I was - Dorian
I was getting tired of your pessimistic outlook on the world – Dorian
So you KILLED him! – ST
I was considering obliterating her. I just had the tiny little problem of………….doubting I could – Nobel
So what do we wanna do now we have three mummies? - Nobel
Well, the obvious thing is to put one of them in Dorian's bed - Hermes
Nooo, I'm trying to be nicer to hi…waaait, he killed me! Let's do this! - Nobel
He killed you?!? I think there's more things I need to catch up on here! - Hermes
We were having an argument, and (is interrupted) - Nobel
(interrupts)…he killed you?!? - Hermes
Yep. I was not amused - Nobel
No, you were DEAD - Hermes
Well yes – Nobel
(Talking with Hermes) Point, you're competent, so how did they die? - Nobel
We're not moving the mummy just to find the fucking cause of death – Hermes
Could be a limited amount of hamsters, just enough to be deadly – Hermes
If you ever become an evil mastermind…. - Nobel
I don't think ''hamster-pit'' would be the thing I went for – Hermes
Why not?!? - Nobel
It's so impractical – Hermes
I'm trying to help you! - Nobel
That's why I'm trying not to punch you – Skadi
I'm taking you over to the healing item – Nobel
DON'T TALK ABOUT RUI SHI THAT WAY! – Paul
*And in the background, other end of the room, you have Hermes shouting into the phone:* - Paul
AND OUR UNICORNS WILL RAIN FROM THE SKY UNTIL YOU CRY TEARS OF BLOOD!!! – Hermes
Being murdered by the Doomsday Clock is old news, this is more interesting – Skadi
Shouldn't we get weapons first!?! - Nobel
I've got my chopsticks – Skadi
No, you don't understand: I TALKED TO YOU ON THE PHONE! - Nobel
INCREDIBLE! - Hermes
…I'm going home – Nobel
You were there, you saw it! - Nobel
YOU SHIFTED TIME BACKWARDS! - Skadi
I think I need to explain to you how time-travel works – Hermes
Nathuram: "Drop your weapon"
Nobel: "Huh? What weapon? It's a cellphone!"
Nathuram: "You're a libertine item-crafter"
Nobel: "Ah, right" *drops phone*
So, where do you drive? - ST
To Lady Amalthea's house – Jan
Yay, I love you right now! - Espen
Jeg må jo hente spydet – Jan
What?!?! I hate you! - Espen
So Rui Shi, our DNA: How weird is it? - Nobel
Vote "No" on Lich soul-containment – Gry
…In the past – ST
And it seems your cabal has survived and prospered – G.I.Joe
AS OPPOSED TO YOURS!!! - Espen
Ah, but of course, the Grail interfaces with the moon-base! That makes SENSE! - Nobel
*Gry tries to stop herself but fails, and bursts out laughing*
I'm sorry, I can't help it – Gry
(endearingly) I just want to make him a tinfoil hat – ST
(Espen has long, complicated rant about how the he thinks the 'grail' must interact with the 'gâr', the hypothetical ancient super-weapon(s) of hyperborea, going into technical details and extensive theorizing on how it's a vital component in order to make it work, and so on)
*ST notices the other player present has something to say, turns to her*
It's like this: Gâr cannot 'perform' without Graal to impress *makes suggestive gestures* - Gry
Gry - If only we'd known about that before Chimera was taken over by that alien from Mars…
Dorian - Hat ein grosse wolf der sonne gegessen?
(After talk about how surprisingly useful the ''suppress own life'' spell is)
Paul - *in Dalek-voice* MOROI ARE SUPERIOR TO ACANTHI IN ONLY ONE RESPECT…
Paul - …THEY ARE BETTER AT DYING!
Hermes - Since earlier today I've always known how to speak Basque
Dorian - Is that because you spent three years living in…
ST - Baskerville
ST - Yeah, roll Wits+Empathy to notice that he's lying
Gry - So, did he…DAMN! That was said in German, wasn't it?
Paul - And there is no empathy in German
Dorian - I had the HA-HAH!, and then zher germans arrived.
Pakiz - So, what do you do now?
Dorian - I think we go to the Vatican and steal the fish.
Skadi - No, it's a spaceship. It can't help that it looks like a fish, it wasn't a part of its own design process.
ST (narrates) - Then it's the first guy's turn, and he's still on the ground, cradling the body of the guy now bleeding to death. So he reaches down towards the gushing wound with his free hand, and…
Thomas - Eats his lifeforce!!
Gry – WHAT?!?!
Thomas – Spell called 'Devouring the slain', it's what I would've done. (pause, then looks creepily-intensely at her) Don't fall unconscious around me.
Emil Lehrer – You know, you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age.
Dorian – You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age.
ST – (narrates) So Pakiz casts the spell on Svoboda, and for some reason it just makes him fall asleep instantly, like that (snaps fingers). But is he snoring? (checks sheets) No, he isn't, 'cause he's not breathing.
Pakiz – Oh my god! I killed him! He's dead!!!!
Dorian – No, no, you didn't, he's a vampire, they don't breathe to begin with.
Gry - I never considered imbuing underwear before, but now I do.
ST – Seriously, you haven't?
Espen – Even I thought of that.
ST – Oh?…
Espen – Soul armor!!
Jan – Ville kanskje vært en fordel om underbuksene ble vasket en gang i blandt da.
Espen – I HAVE MATTER! I CAN CLEAN THEM!!
Nobel – Someone needs to be the moral compass in the group.
Skadi – Hey, I am a moral compass.
Skadi – …ish
Skadi – Ok, FINE, I'm the emo-compass!
Espen - Oh, fuck, Dorian's gonna kill me.
ST – Again.
Rui shi – Nei, vi torturerer den ene mens den andre ser på.
Nobel – Yeeeeah, moral compass.
Nobel – So, Rui shi, you check out the crime scene, because you can postcognicate, I check out the evidence, while Skadi, you can interrogate the prisoners, because you're creepy.
Skadi – Hey!
Nobel – The good creepy, you know, as in ''intimidating. To criminals!''
Skadi - Oh, that's right, our alternate timeline people are still here.
Nobel - OH NO! HE'S LOOSE!!!
Dorian - Who?
Nobel - Oppenheimer! HE'S LOOSE!
Nobel – I don't steal organs, that's WRONG! You don't steal organs, you buy organs. Or have them donated.
Hermes - So your plan for getting hold of eyes involves me from various timelines.
Nobel - Or I can ask my girlfriend.
Hermes - It doesn't have to be wrong for him to do it, but it helps.
ST - It's got advanced wiring, semi-technological components and engine-like mechanisms made of crystal, hefty amounts of perfected metals, and at least two awakened alloys you don't even recognize.
Espen - *whimpers with non-verbalized glee*
Thomas - *singing* …and he jizzed...in his pants.
Thomas - It's a flying fish, I guess that's not too covert.
??? - So, is he dead?
ST - Well, he's snoring, so I sorta doubt it…
Hermes - He could be snoring the snore of the dead.
Dorian - The death-snore!
Gry - Doctor fail!
Hermes - Soul, right. *turns to Nobel* SOUL SHIELD! NOW!
Nobel - *dismissive* Soul shield? eh, I have tha…..oh for YOU guys! Right!
ST - At least the Pope survived.
Thomas - Fuck!
Paul - Fuck!
ST - What?
Thomas - Wait, which Pope was that?
ST - The Panzerpope.
Paul & Thomas in unison - FUCK!
(discussion about parents with many and/or small children using area-effect suppress life in order to get a nap)
Paul – So yeah, regularly killing your baby will make you more likely to kill your baby.
Long brainstorming: The 57 states
Espen - Plutselig så jeg for meg Eldorado kryssa med ''Gangs of New York'': ''Gangs of Eldorado''.
Paul - Well, could be worse I guess.
Gry - Could have been ''West Side Story''.
Hermes - But yes, I turn a fruit into a fish, then I hypnotize the fish, then you need to scry the fish.
Hermes - I am now giving the fish-apple a fate blessing.
Hermes - So yeah, sympathetic-range suicide!
Nobel - No, actually, sympathetic-range 'Finder' on self is funnier.
Espen - But look on the bright side.
Paul - There's a bright side?
Gry - Sure there was, but then it turned into a fig again.
ST - No, that was the bright FISH, not fig. (given the fish was bioluminescent…)
Paul - This place eats people!
Thomas - Of course it does! We can't ever got anywhere nice!
Dorian – And you're a doctor.
Hermes – Well, a magical doctor.
Dorian – What did you think the 'm' in M.D. Stood for?
Thomas - Come on, we'll be swimming in soul-stones like some crazy lich Scrooge McDuck.
Espen - The problem is, it's in space then. How to we reach it?
Thomas - Err…with our fish, duh!
Gry - And that's not the fig-fish.
Paul - Yes. This is actually the first known woman with an instruction manual.
ST - It probably takes several hours for you to make a workable blueprint.
Espen – At least it is intelligent design.
Hermes - It eats darkness, NOM NOM NOM!
Dorian - And farts rainbows.
Tokyo – GojIram! Aaaah!
Dorian - Eat flaming Iram poop!
Hermes - Nono, rainbow poop.
Espen - And we all blame Oppenheimer!
ST - You do?
Espen - Who else? *shakes fist angrily* Radioactive rainbow poop!
Nobel - Forget the car, the car is immaterial.
Dorian - No it's not, it is specifically a material object.
Hermes – Yes, very sane, Nobel.
Skadi - Very sane, indeed.
Dorian - This might seem strange, Vinegar, but Rui Shi is actually…
Vinegar - Asian.
Dorian - Well spotted, Vinegar.
Hermes - I would not say that, because her mother is a Valkyrie.
Dorian - That's kind of badass. I'd tap that.
Phone – VICTORY
Nobel - But, but…LASER!!!
Nobel – Oooh, we should make an overhaul on Dorian's car!
Paul - What's the last morality-sin Yggdrasil did?
ST – Shoplifting.
Paul - Armed robbery.
Espen – Embezzlement.
Skadi - You have a serious dandruff problem.
Hermes - It's snow.
Skadi - …It's pretty hot here.
Nobel - Yeah, that's why it's melting.
Skadi - Of course.
Nobel - Get with the program.
Nobel - What's up with the stags? Why can't you have the elements come from the tree itself?
Hermes - Because the tree could catch fire?
Nobel - See, that's an answer.
Hermes - Stags are useful insulators.
Skadi - I'll probably regret this, but if I should come to ruin your fire-resistant pants, I will help to pay for the repairs.
Hermes - They were made by magic spiders, you know.
Paul - You would also be on fire. That's sorta hot.
ST - But it's also cool. So it's a paradox. Let's hope you're using a tool.
Paul - Owww.
Paul - And then you get a manifestation.
Gry - The manifestation is also on fire.
Skadi - I'm still having trouble getting used to you being a fairy.
Hermes - Well, I've lived in San Fransisco for a while now. These things happen.
Espen - Oooh, you're the «last god-king of Atlantis».
ST – The last…goat-king?
Espen - Whatever you do, never arouse that sword.
ST - *collapses in laughter* Yes, I certainly, really hope she never arouses the sword *giggling*
Thomas - Where do you think knives come from?
Espen - Then they grow up more and become daggers.
Thomas - The difficult teenage years, where they just want to run around and stab everyone.
Paul - Plot twist! Nobel was the Abyss all along!
*while walking along the shoreline of the Ocean Oroboros*
Paul – Oh hai abyss.
Thomas – Long time, no see.
Paul - Oh god….just…oh god.
ST - ….ow. Oh, you didn't. You seriously didn't.
Gry - Aaah, lord, that one took me the longest time to get.
Paul – And worst part is that it works on so many levels too.
Skadi – What a compliment: I am more comfortable to look at than the Abyss.
Nobel - It's just DEATH, it's not like it's something weird, or alien.
Skadi - I'm afraid I'm not as good a person as my cabal-mate: I do want a boon.
Paul - You're not as good a person as Hermes?!? Who are you, HITLER?!?
Espen - At least I know the one thing Nobel will ask of Prime.
Gry – «Will you marry me?»
Espen – Close, but no cigar.
Gry - «Can I have your babies?»
Espen - …nnno, that's later. When he's a Prime master.
ST - No, the Aeon of Fate does not have a tuba.
Gry – Quick, Nobel, you can create one for her!
Espen - I can make a phantasm-tuba, and I'm sure Time itself can somehow make it permanent.
ST – Yeah, sure, he can make it so no time passes for that effect, so it doesn't expire, but it would still be a spell you're actively maintaining.
Paul – Nonono, you aren't looking at this from Time's point of view: He LIVES with her. Does he WANT her to have a permanent tuba to play on?
Paul - Throw a bomb at her, then rewind time.
ST - And what happens if you fail the spell?
Paul - That's why I carry TWO bombs!
ST - Most things in life can be solved with magic. For the rest, there's explosives.
Eye of the Storm - We've launched rich horses into parallel timelines.
Guardians - WHAT?!?
Silver Ladder - Why?!?
Mysterium - How???
Free Council - Why didn't you let us join?!
Arrow - Did you hit?
Nobel – Gods, what's WRONG with my cabal?!?
Hermes – You're IN it.
Nobel – Mhm, good point.
Gry – There's a dragon in your clocktower. Your argument is invalid.
Nobel - If a door walks into me, I will DEVOUR it. For the mana.
Skadi – They approve of us, therefore they must fall.
Hermes – This is why you don't have many friends.
*After Hermes has gained parts of Low-Key's power & appearance by Assuming his Final Name*
ST – I know you're a grifter and a con-man, but I think you've taken the concept of identity-theft to a whole new level.
ST – It's like skinning someone alive and then wearing it to get their power.
Paul – That makes this so much creepier.
ST – But at least it's not template-stacking.
Espen – Bah! Like he thinks of that!
ST – That's why you have along Skadi the sensible.
Paul – Those are not words you hear together often.
Hermes – They're BAD GUYS. So I reorganize their library! Hah!
Nobel – Are you saying. That I cannot make. A unicorn. That is also. A tank?!?
Nobel – But first I will analyze it. It is my job, after all.
ST – To analyze tanks?
Espen - Wow, that was easy.
ST - Like your mother.
Espen – AND YOUR CHILDREN!
ST – You're fairly certain that your heart just ignited.
Paul – I've suddenly got a pressing desire to just run over to the infirmary and ask for a CAT-scan.
Gry – «Please, I have the most horrible case of heartburn.»
Paul – «I think it might actually be ON FIRE»
Skadi - *falls down to her knees, shakes fists in the air* NOOOOOO!!!!
Paul - It was arcadia all along!
Nobel - I am Oppenheimer
ST - Destroyer of worlds
Paul - In my free time baby, if you know what I mean
Nobel - Oh damn, you're a woman now! Can't you just pick one?!?
Hermes - So we're doing synchronized meditation now. The world's. Most. Boring. Olympic. Sport. Ever.
Espen - I will spoke myself into a better climber.
Paul - Thus spoke he.
Paul - Hah! Exceptional success on Fang and Talon 4.
ST - Hva det gjør da?
Paul – Makes it last until the sun next sets or rises.
ST - But….the sun hangs immobile on a branch in the tree….
Paul - YEEEAHHH, SUCK IT! I'M A GOAT! To stop me you have to move the SUN!
ST – So you think it's unacceptable for her to use magic on her own body when she's pregnant, but it's OK for you to punch her in the face?
Espen – Yeah, that's her head, it won't affect the baby at all!
ST - Cthulhu has a Fez. Fezzes are blasphemous now.
Pakiz - Pig flu, bird flu, cow madness, sheep flu….why do all this disease come from animals? Are they upset with us or something?
Skadi – Well, we do keep on eating them…
Nobel – What goes around comes around, I guess.
Skadi - Once we get to the point where man-eating badgers are released, they will eventually come down with man-flu.
Paul - My familiar would get essence from it, however: It's feeding on Hitler-day.
Paul - You can eat anything with your name on it?!? Your business cards must be delicious.
ST – Let's hope his girlfriend never gets a tattoo.
Paul - Well, I know what we've called our tent.
Paul - Camelot
Gry – Campalot
Espen (portraying Galahad) - «Top o'the mornin' to ya»….but probably in greek.
Paul - Yes, Constantinople: The world's biggest speedbump.
Espen - So pure evil.
ST - Yes. Also there's a demon in him.
Paul - I thought he was venetian? But you can't stack templates, can you?
Gry - Perhaps it works because they were so similar to begin with?
Medusa - You don't need to fuck her.
Lancelot - Thank you. I was afraid you were gonna use my…lance…as a weapon.
Medusa - So, you joust a lot?
Lancelot - Well, I'm Lancelot.
ST - Now look at your lictor, now back to me, now look at your lictor, now back to me.
Jan - I'm now a woman.
ST – So not only did he get 4 successes on Incognito Presence, but you also have a fairly good distraction: There's an army over there, attacking their city. That sorta draws the attention of the guards
Paul – If that was our plan for how to get into the city, I think we went a little overboard
Paul - So we've become Belgium, language-wise.
ST - Where did you THINK Belgium came from?!?
Paul - So Belgium was the secret grail-kingdom? That explains so much!
Al-Kahina – It'll fall into the hands of the throne
Galahad – Which throne?
Al-Kahina – The bad one
Bishop Marty - Specify
Al-Kahina – The Throne of the Exarchs
Galahad – Because I was thinking maybe it'd be one of the German ones…
Bishop Marty - Almost as bad, but no. It'd be the throne of Rex Mundi, y'know…Satan
Al-Kahina – That's the bad throne
Galahad – Yes, thank you, I GOT that. I might not be up on politics all the time, but I HAVE noticed that Satan is the bad guy
ST – You prefer a horse. Just like your dad
Paul – No, dad prefers WHORES. Keep them straight
Paul – Now I'm imagining Lancelot's version of the Old Spice commercial: I'm on a whore
Al-Kahina – You want to evacuate the populatin to Venice?!?
Galahad – Let's do the Underworld instead
Jan – Veit åssen vi kan finne traitor'n. Du går rundt og slår alle, og traitor'n er han som slår tilbake.
ST – Huh?
Jan – De var pasifister, var de ikke?
Gry – And then the question remains: Do I spend any Destiny on this? It is my Destiny to make cows into men!
ST - Is that the sweater I gave you for christmas that you said was destroyed in a lab accident?
Paul – No attainment
ST – THE MOONLASER DOES NOT LIE!!!
ST – So, you have some people in your dungeon
Gry - The three newest in a long line of women
ST - Victims
Gry - Well, same word by now, really
Marianne - Så, hvordan var ferien?
Gry - Hvilken ferie?
Marianne – Den for lenge siden
Gry - Åh, den var utrolig fin. Who knew there was that much interesting stuff in Belgium?
Jan – Pedofile
Everyone – huh?
Jan – De har pedofile, er tingen Belgia er mest kjent for nå
Gry – Så er først på andreplass de har belgisk sjokolade?
ST – Dude, hvorfor tror du de HAR belgisk sjokolade? Må jo ha noe som er godt nok til å lokke barna!
Gry – So as the kids got wise to their scheme they had to make continually better and better chocolate to lure them, and that's why belgian chocolate is so good?
ST – Exactly!
Afhal Uzum – I haven't dealt with you before then, I take it?
Skadi – No, not in our current forms, at least, as far as we know
Afhal Uzum – Ah, I see. It's hard to tell, I must admit, as…well…that is….
Skadi – We all look the same to you, don't we?
Afhal Uzum – …..I had hoped to phrase it better, but effectively yes.
Skadi – mm
Afhal Uzum – Nothing personal, you understand, but it's not like you even have any interesting patterns on your scales or anything!
Skadi – *looks at herself* What scales?!?
Afhal Uzum – Exactly!
Rui Shi – Well, if you ever need a new place to live, you're free to come stay here
Afhal Uzum – Hmm..yes…yes, I agree. Should my lovely pyramid somehow get destroyed, I'd imagine it would only be fair for you to provide me with a new dwelling-place, to make up for it.
Rui Shi – Wait, what? Are you saying we're going to destroy your home?!?
Afhal Uzum – How else could my pyramid possibly be demolished?
ST - You want to find an assassin snake?!?
You. Want. To. Find. An. ASSASSIN. SNAKE!?!?!?
Nobel – How powerful is it?
Hermes – It is QUITE a large snake
Nobel – Size isn't everything, you know
Skadi – In this case it is. It's got a MASSIVE intellect. His memory banks are quite impressive.
Nobel – *eager* Really?!? *steeples fingers* Tell me more!
Hermes – In the case of gigantic fucking snakes, size DOES matter, AS WELL as how you use it
Skadi - So, I'm off to deal death to a gigantic world-destroying thing, killing it once and for all
Nathuram – Well, I'm happy you're finally dealing with Nobel sensibly
Espen – I WILL BURN YOU!!!!
ST – Probably
ST – Unless you somehow find a way to portal it in, or keep it in some sort of spatial pocket
Gry – That's right, I have one of those now
ST – Yeah, so you can do that, make a pocket dimension
Espen – And fill it with base! (st note: as in, alkaline fluid, the opposite of acid)
Gry – It will be my secret base!
ST - *listing up potential chemicals to use as weapons* Then there's superbases
Gry - The fortress of solitude?
ST - *mouths silently, speechless, then head-desks*
Espen - Stop making horrible puns!!!
ST – So first you earn loads of money from producing and selling guns and weaponry to terrorists, and now you're using that money to buy vast amounts of chemical weapons from those same guys.
Espen – *sarcastic* Yeeeah, I've really moved up in the world
Gry – (as Nobel) I no longer supply terrorists……I AM one!
Merchant - Honey, how much did we spend on the gas this month?
Julie - *shows him the ledger*
Merchant - Errr, next time I think we have to buy it a bit cheaper
Julie - Steal from tractors you mean?
Merchant - Essentially
Espen - I could have helped them with the gas
ST - You could do a lot of things for a lot of people in the world
Espen - BUT I WON'T!
While Dorian is at market, trying to exchange his necrophobia for a different type of fear:
*Dorian has turned down every offered phobia replacement thus far*
Julie - None of these are going to be very nice of course
Dorian - Yeah, but it's sort of about what you come across every day
Julie - So your life is full of death, snakes and spiders, while you're in small confined spaces, in the dark, and on fire? Sounds like an…..uncomfortable lifestyle.
Espen – For all we know, the SUN might start attacking
ST – Most. Dangerous. Garden. EVER!
Fredrik - So yeah, I'll do the *smoosh*
Espen - We're such nice guys
ST - Eh, they came here
Espen - True. They practically DESERVE aids
Espen – But, but, but, it's social stuff
ST – It's sobbing women. Haven't you locked up enough of those in the basement to know how to deal with them?
Espen – No I haven't!
Espen – Need to train more…
ST – (as Ifreet) I don't get why everyone complains so much about visibility when it's dark, I've never had such problems with darkness.
Response - (flatly) Other people don't have burning hair
Gry – (as Ifreet) No problem, I'll put on a hat. *mimes doing so* OH NO, NOW I'M BLIND!
ST – Sooo, our guardian spirit killed the Hieromagus before he was born. Awkward much?
Jan – Problem solved!
Madame Zenori – I hope we can…solve this peacefuly
Nobel – We hope we DON'T solve this peacefuly
ST – He might not be impressed with your moral integrity, but at least he thinks you're not as much obnoxious douchebags as the rest of humanity
Espen – Success! We have fooled one!!!
Nobel – See, sometimes we're ok with your homicidal tendencies
Rui Shi - How many have YOU killed?!?
Nobel – No no no, it's that we hope it'll rub off, that you'll become ok with some of OUR homicidal tendencies
Gry – Now I just imagine Nobel in his forge, going «making a True Fae, dum dum dum»…best prank on Skadi ever
Espen - Well, I did make a Promethean, so next project: True Fae. Gotta move up in the world.
Espen – Bow chicka vow-vow, getting it on with Norway, if you know what I mean
Gry – ….I go and draw up the portal to Norway…
Gry – Then again, the snake would wake up with cement shoes
Paul – No, no, the snake will be sleeping with the fishes
Paul – So yeah, that's my official policy for this group now: Max one superweapon per person
Espen – I still think it's incredibly creepy that you can lie over the phone now
ST – Dude, EVERYONE can do that. This is sort of like when you and Thomas went «no, we still aren't powerful enough to make bullets that kill people»
Espen – Nooo! Then the telephone isn't a truth-device!!
Gry - That's what you think we should do, let the creature out of the cage, then put the Paradigm in the cage and give the creature a stick so it can poke them back?
ST – But…how?!? It's essentially an amoeba made of glory: it has no hands!
Espen – Oooh, but it's probably made out of Prime, so I can use Prime-spells to reshape its form, and….
ST – Oh, sure, rape it more, I'm sure that'll help improve its attitude!
Imhotep – You have an almost-intact Bellerophonte spaceship?!?! (studies it in amazement & envy). Too bad this doesn't help, since we don't even have anyone who can repair it. After…y'know….SOME people killed off our Matter-master
Nobel - (points at self)
Skadi – Yes we do, our plan was for Nobel (points at him) to fix it
Imhotep – The problem is he's still not a MASTER, so he can't forge the magical alloys required
Skadi – He doesn't need to be
Imhotep – What? How?
Nobel – I don't need to be master when using the book we have
Imhotep – What?!?
Hermes – The «riders of pegasus» grimoires, we had the second volume, so now all three are together and can be used
Imhotep – (stares in shock. Then turns to Inanna) You remember a while back when I insisted that we should just take everything they owned? SEE!!! I told you so! I said they were much more competent than they seemed!
Inanna - My husband just died. Can't you just shut up now? Y'know, as a moment of respectful silence. For, like, a month?
Imhotep – (looks over at her late husband, evaluating, then turns back to her) I'll give you two minutes. No, wait, make that one minute. He's not worth more than that
Inanna – (pause) I'll take it
(Upon returning to Coit Tower, and finding that its secret inner chambers have been location-stacked with the sanctum of the Eye of the Storm:)
Phoenix – So, that whole cabal rule about secrecy…..have we just set fire to that part of the charter, or what?
Nobel – I come from a long family tradition of dying. Seriously, everyone has done it.
ST (as Nobel) – "I wasn't gonna be the first one to not do it….."
ST – We're not saying you didn't like them, we're just saying that you killed them. Which you did.
Jan – Gry, you're not allowed to like me, ever.
Gry – Too late!
"When the sun turns quite black,
and the demons attack,
Skadi - You guys are so lucky you're not out there! I'm covered in blood and feathers and I'm breathing nazi-raven!
Nobel - We can't leave! I wanna fire the superweapon at more stuff!
Skadi – Like what?!? You've obliterated absolutely everything in the entire region!
ST – ……the Earth?
Gry – But we LIKE the Earth!
Paul - So there's no rage, rage, rage against the dying of the light, I guess.
ST – More the reverse, really
Paul – True. So…rage, rage, rage into the dying of the night?
Gry - Sorry, but I'm getting distracted. There was a hair in your beard.
Espen – It wasn't a self-destruct button…the ITEM survived
ST – So it made the person explode, but since the item itself survived, it's therefore not a self-destruct?!?
Espen - That's why I'm going 'Aaaagh', because on one hand it's abomination against nature, but on the other hand it's research, so ergh, I can't decide!
Jan - But, we're in India now
Gry - What, we're in India now, so we outsource it?
Hermes – I find the lack of victorian time-traveling psychics….disturbing
Skadi - I can't believe I'm going to say this, but it seems like the key to all this is in Toronto.
Skadi - So c'mon, let's go to the most magical place in the world: Canada!
Nobel - DAMN! I need to learn to speak Canadian!
Gry - Well, I could ask Nobel in Hyperborean, and hope the others don't understand that.
Espen - Or in Lemurian.
Gry - But I don't know Lemurian.
Espen - And who'se fault is that?
ST - «Summon projectile weapon towards my own body!» ….yeeah, not so smart
Paul – Oh! I've got that spell!
ST - What?!?
ST - So yeah, your familiar - the angel of faith, light and enlightenment - shoots her in the back.
Paul – No no, it ''pops a cap in her ass''. Let's be correct with terminology here.
Paul – Walking around with a suicide vest means never having to say you're sorry.
Gry - We're so decadent, for mana we eat dead lama
Paul - But only dalai lamas, not just any old lama. What are we, plebs?!?
ST - Or just throwing a rock. It IS a glass house, after all
Paul – No, it's a glass MANSION. There's no rule about throwing rocks there. What are we, plebs?
Gry – "Mystique" lama: Can look like any other lama in the world
Paul - And we have a winner
Paul - He enters a masque. I don't know which one, but there must be a mask that fits this.
ST – For what, realizing you're not actually a wizard?
Paul - No, pretending you're an actor portraying yourself
ST - Well, it's better to rape yourself than raping other people
Paul – True, true
Paul - When in doubt, turn into the king of Lichtenstein
Hermes - In my case, I'd actually prefer being murdered
Skadi - If you like I can cook you a meal
Hermes - That could work.
Skadi - I'll make you a sandwich, and you better eat it
ST – There might be a +3 lichtenstein modifer on that roll
Skadi - What?!?
Hermes - The Dalai Lama spent his dying breath calling you an abusive lesbian
ST – I want my hands to close around your sweet neck
Espen – And I can get that
Rui Shi(?) - I want to talk with whoever is in charge around here
ST – There is a specific phrase for that request, traditionally
Skadi – ''Take us to your oven!''
ST – …and now perhaps someone who is better at speaking Atlantean can try it?
Nobel(?) – ''Take us to your leader!''
Paul – If you're going to San Fransisco, remember…you better wear bullet-proof armor and soul shield
Nobel - If that's how the world works, I'm HAPPY we're gonna destroy it
Skadi - Could you maybe use a different word than ''destroy'''?
Nobel - End the world as we know it? Crush the world under my heel? Obliterate the world? There's so many words we could use!
Nobel - So, do you want the temporary upgrades, or the invasive modifications?
Hermes - I dislike you using the word ''invasive''
Skadi - Would it help if I was the one saying it instead?
Hermes – Yes, it would actually.
Skadi - So, do you want the temporary upgrades, or the invasive modifications?
Chameleon - I learned so many secrets of the universe!….It gave me SPLEEENS!
ST – In fact, you actually hear the dreadful night-terrors scream in pain and fly off when you don't feel any fear at all for them.
Paul – Hermes would probably think «Dude, I'm traveling with Skadi».
Espen – Nobel goes to hang out with friends and family
Paul – What? You have friends? You have friends that are still alive?
ST – You have friends who know that you are alive?
PK – How much are you paying them?
Espen - ….ok, he hangs out with his family, then.
ST – You go to the goblin market. And ask for a refund. And you get it. WITHOUT A ROLL!!!
Espen – WITNESS MY AWESOME CANADIAN POWERS!